Thursday, April 9, 2015

Repeat After Me

Okay, sit back, get comfortable, clear your throat and repeat after me . . .

The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!

Let’s say it one more time . . .

The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!

I have yet, in the many years I’ve been a part of the fight for Adoptee Rights and Adoption Reform, come across a First (Birth) Mom who was promised privacy.  And I have never seen a single piece of legal paper guaranteeing such a thing.

If you are a First Mom who claims you were promised privacy, you are either lying or were lied to.  It is just that simple.

To carry out a promise of privacy for First Moms it would mean our children’s original birth certificates would have to be sealed the moment we put pen to paper and sign the relinquishment papers.  It would be based on our action of giving up our rights and nothing else.

But, not only does that not happen, but there is not a SINGLE law in the United States even allowing for that to happen.  It just can’t be done.  Not a single court in this country of ours would approve such a request regardless of any suggestion of promised privacy.  They can’t because there is nothing that allows them too.

Sealing away our children’s birth certificates rests solely on the actions of the couples petitioning to adopt our children.  It’s done as part of their process, not ours.  And has always been meant for their benefit.  Not ours and definitely not our children.

It has been said over and over AND OVER again . . . the myth of Birth Mother privacy is nothing more than the Adoption Industry using us to fight against Adoptees being given their equal rights.  They don’t give a damn about us.  They don’t give a damn about our children.  We are just their scapegoat.  The easy targets they use as an excuse to deny Adoptees what the rest of us take for granted.

And, honestly, if you are a First Mom who has the warped belief that your desire for so-called privacy justifies your own child being denied their equal rights than you are the one with the problem, not your child.

And if you are a general part of society believing these lies, please know you are being played for a fool.  The industry knows, for the most part, we are going to believe what we are told – especially if they add a little to tug on your heart-strings – rather than researching the truth for ourselves.  But the truth doesn’t change, regardless of the pretty bow the industry might try putting on it . . .

The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!

It’s simple.  It’s true.  So let’s stop allowing it to be used as a reason to deny Adoptees their equal rights.

1 comment:

  1. I think there is more to the ''Birth Mother privacy lie'' than the attempt to deny adoptees their equal rights/access to their OBC and adoption records. I think it is to promote anger, if not rage and disgust at natural mothers for supposedly being the reason for denying access. I also think it is done quite deliberately to divert attention and responsibility from the ones who are actually responsible for the whole stinking reason for closed adoptions and ''privacy'' and if they can get adoptees disgusted and enraged at their natural mothers for supposedly being the reason records are closed then all the more reason to ''celebrate'' as far as they are concerned. I have seen so many comments from adoptees blaming natural mothers for this whole thing that it is quite apparent that the LIE is doing it's job. Another thing I've noticed (and felt) is ... if you can dump that much more ''guilt and shame''(undeserved of course) on a natural mother she might actually get to the point where she refuses contact or wants her information blocked out if records are ever opened because who wants to deal with that much MORE blame when very little if ANY of it (the surrender/adoption) was of our ''''choosing'''' anyway. WHOO-HOO! Another ''bonus'' for the big fat LIE. The propaganda machine 'knows' what it is doing especially when the gullible and the 'no time to prove anything' crowd will eat any lie they are fed. I just wish that the adoptees and others who believe this would come to reason, check it out, and actually think. things. through., then get on board with disputing this LIE as it would be in their very great favor in the move to open records, to research and prove and stand for the truth. I do understand however the 'loyalty and self-preservation' factor for adoptees. One more reason to ban the practice .. splitting the 'child' in two is never a loving thing to do.

    Not to forget, open records have little to do, now-a-days especially, with finding or being found! So ''privacy'' is a mute point. Why can't society and some adoptees see it is all a BIG LIE? a CON. A running scared by those who do not want to 'surrender' their '''''sole''''' claim to parent hood. NO KIDDING IT HURTS LIKE HELL DOESN'T IT? It did and does hurt like hell for most of us natural mothers (fathers and some other family members). It's what we felt when our babies/children were taken and what many of us still feel today. Much pain and grief and fierce anger of protectiveness and horrible powerlessness... yet we were and for the most part still are kept powerless to do anything when it comes to our children, our sons and daughters, or in getting the truth out there without the -propaganda machine- come blasting back and shutting down the truth. It's odd how the years that are still kept closed in so many states are the years where so much dirty dealing (drugging, etc.) was done in getting babies away from their mothers... I think that's another reason the propaganda machine works over time.

    So can we just put a stop to this failed experiment called adoption! It hurts everybody involved. It's hurtful and hurtful falls under the definition of evil. and it's time to put a stop to it.