I don’t know if I can write this. If it is even worth it. If any of this is worth it anymore.
We have failed a sweet, innocent little girl. Failed her in the worst of ways.
And I say we for all of us. A society. A nation. Our media. Lawmakers and judges. Every single one holds heavy on their shoulders the blame for what happened to Veronica. She is a four year old, innocent victim who has just paid the worst price, her family destroyed so she could be used to satisfy the desires of an infertile couple.
As she suffers the terrible loss of her family, her heritage, her culture, others celebrate such a disgusting tragedy for this little girl. They congratulate themselves with proud slaps to the back for fighting so hard for Veronica to lose everything so the Capobiancos could have their every selfish desire fulfilled.
They praise those like Troy Dunn and Dr. Phil for using Veronica to advance their own careers. Celebrate and promote the continued deception of Veronica’s First Mother, because it justifies their belief that the Capobianco’s “deserved” Veronica more than her own family. That they “earned” the right to be her parents.
As a society, a nation, we accept such twisted beliefs. Our media, even today in the reality of all Veronica has lost, continues to portray a story of lies and half-truths. Never daring, never having the courage, to go the heart of what has happened, will continue to happen to so many children, if something isn’t done. If we don’t finally stand up and demand change.
Some have said there is some hope in Veronica’s loss because of the attention it has brought to the truth of the adoption industry. But I just can’t bring myself to see it that way. I see her loss as the worst thing that could have happened to her. I see it as a complete failure of everyone who ignored those speaking out, demanding change. For every person who chose to label, deny and fight against those speaking the truth. Truth of pain and grief. Of coercion and manipulation. Of billions of dollars being the driving force for our children being taken away for the satisfaction of others.
Veronica deserved better than this. She deserved protection from an industry that used her for gain. Deserved her rights to her family to be recognized instead of trampled on. She deserved what so many don’t have the courage or heart to give . . . facing the truth of the very real evils that exist in adoption today.
And I’m not sugar coating. I’m not watching my words, always so conscious of who might be offended. Because what the hell good does that do? It certainly doesn’t do anything to prevent a sweet, little girl from having her entire family destroyed for the gain of others. It doesn’t push our lawmakers to turn away from the money and the power of the adoption industry. To refuse the laws created to completely do away with fathers’ rights, protections for vulnerable mothers, and most important, guards against children ever being used as a product to be bought and sold.
Today, after the hell that has happened, I don’t see any grey areas any longer. I see it as black and white. Either you believe that we have to do something, demand changes, so that our children are no longer used like Veronica has been used. No longer forced to face the heart break Veronica has faced.
Or you believe in and support the fact that adoption has become a business meant to provide children for the couples willing and able to pay for them. You ignore, diminish, the pain, the grief, the horror of so many to justify your actions, your need to continue to deny the hard truths staring you in the face.
I can’t see it any other way at the moment. I am so angry. So terribly angry.
I have taken hits in this fight for adoption reform, some personal, some not. I’ve known and accepted they are part of the fight. Part of what to expect when you challenge such a controversial subject.
But to have a little, innocent four-year old girl take the hardest hit, the worst of it all, is something I can never accept. NEVER!
I had almost been beaten over the summer, tempted to just give up, to walk away from all the self-entitlement. The denial of the loss and grief. The desperate fight to justify the outrageous profits in supplying children for those that desire them. The absolute refusal to acknowledge that every child has the right to their own family. To be raised by those that are a part of them. To be free of having their identity erased for the benefit of others. Their equal rights stripped from them.
But Veronica’s fight brought me back and it will keep me going. Every time I feel the urge to walk away, I will think of her wrapped securely in her daddy’s arms. Of her beautiful smiles when surrounded by her family. Of the amazing life she was granted when she was allowed to be with her family. Allowed to just be another little girl, growing up, growing strong, under the care and protection of those who loved her.
And I will remember the hell she had forced on her. A hell not only supported, but encouraged and prayed for by so many. I will remember her terrible loss. The destruction of her family for the selfish desires of others.
I can never change how terribly she was failed. But I sure as hell can fight with everything I have to try and protect other children from being forced to live through the same hell. I can fight for Veronica and because of her.
I can fight because she has reminded me it is the right thing to do.