Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Family Destroyed

I don’t know if I can write this.  If it is even worth it.  If any of this is worth it anymore.

We have failed a sweet, innocent little girl.  Failed her in the worst of ways.

And I say we for all of us.  A society.  A nation.  Our media. Lawmakers and judges.  Every single one holds heavy on their shoulders the blame for what happened to Veronica.  She is a four year old, innocent victim who has just paid the worst price, her family destroyed so she could be used to satisfy the desires of an infertile couple.

As she suffers the terrible loss of her family, her heritage, her culture, others celebrate such a disgusting tragedy for this little girl.  They congratulate themselves with proud slaps to the back for fighting so hard for Veronica to lose everything so the Capobiancos could have their every selfish desire fulfilled.

They praise those like Troy Dunn and Dr. Phil for using Veronica to advance their own careers.  Celebrate and promote the continued deception of Veronica’s First Mother, because it justifies their belief that the Capobianco’s “deserved” Veronica more than her own family.  That they “earned” the right to be her parents.

As a society, a nation, we accept such twisted beliefs.  Our media, even today in the reality of all Veronica has lost, continues to portray a story of lies and half-truths.  Never daring, never having the courage, to go the heart of what has happened, will continue to happen to so many children, if something isn’t done.  If we don’t finally stand up and demand change.

Some have said there is some hope in Veronica’s loss because of the attention it has brought to the truth of the adoption industry.  But I just can’t bring myself to see it that way.  I see her loss as the worst thing that could have happened to her.  I see it as a complete failure of everyone who ignored those speaking out, demanding change.  For every person who chose to label, deny and fight against those speaking the truth.  Truth of pain and grief.  Of coercion and manipulation.  Of billions of dollars being the driving force for our children being taken away for the satisfaction of others.

Veronica deserved better than this.  She deserved protection from an industry that used her for gain.  Deserved her rights to her family to be recognized instead of trampled on.  She deserved what so many don’t have the courage or heart to give . . . facing the truth of the very real evils that exist in adoption today.

And I’m not sugar coating.  I’m not watching my words, always so conscious of who might be offended.  Because what the hell good does that do?  It certainly doesn’t do anything to prevent a sweet, little girl from having her entire family destroyed for the gain of others.  It doesn’t push our lawmakers to turn away from the money and the power of the adoption industry.  To refuse the laws created to completely do away with fathers’ rights, protections for vulnerable mothers, and most important, guards against children ever being used as a product to be bought and sold.

Today, after the hell that has happened, I don’t see any grey areas any longer.  I see it as black and white.  Either you believe that we have to do something, demand changes, so that our children are no longer used like Veronica has been used.  No longer forced to face the heart break Veronica has faced.

Or you believe in and support the fact that adoption has become a business meant to provide children for the couples willing and able to pay for them.  You ignore, diminish, the pain, the grief, the horror of so many to justify your actions, your need to continue to deny the hard truths staring you in the face.

I can’t see it any other way at the moment.  I am so angry.  So terribly angry.

I have taken hits in this fight for adoption reform, some personal, some not.  I’ve known and accepted they are part of the fight.  Part of what to expect when you challenge such a controversial subject.

But to have a little, innocent four-year old girl take the hardest hit, the worst of it all, is something I can never accept.  NEVER!

I had almost been beaten over the summer, tempted to just give up, to walk away from all the self-entitlement.  The denial of the loss and grief.  The desperate fight to justify the outrageous profits in supplying children for those that desire them.  The absolute refusal to acknowledge that every child has the right to their own family.  To be raised by those that are a part of them.  To be free of having their identity erased for the benefit of others.  Their equal rights stripped from them.

But Veronica’s fight brought me back and it will keep me going.  Every time I feel the urge to walk away, I will think of her wrapped securely in her daddy’s arms.  Of her beautiful smiles when surrounded by her family.  Of the amazing life she was granted when she was allowed to be with her family.  Allowed to just be another little girl, growing up, growing strong, under the care and protection of those who loved her.

And I will remember the hell she had forced on her.  A hell not only supported, but encouraged and prayed for by so many.  I will remember her terrible loss.  The destruction of her family for the selfish desires of others.

I can never change how terribly she was failed.  But I sure as hell can fight with everything I have to try and protect other children from being forced to live through the same hell.  I can fight for Veronica and because of her.


I can fight because she has reminded me it is the right thing to do.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Veronica Rose Brown - A Father's Fight

Well, they obviously want to raise her. I couldn’t qualify that compared to the way I feel. I know how I feel. So -- and it feels to me like we really want her more than anybody.”

Sometimes, just a few sentences can say SO much . . . The above quote comes directly from Melanie Capobianco's testimony in the case Adoptive Couple vs Baby Veronica.

Just as you see so often in those who believe they have a right to take a child away from his or her own natural family, she self-determined she wanted Veronica over her own father and had every right to fight him for his own daughter . . . I want that baby more so I deserve her more!

This is the mindset Dusten Brown has faced from the start.  With Melanie's testimony now released and added to the testimonies of Christy Maldonado,  Dusten Brown and Alice Brown, it’s clear that the Capobianco’s were willing to do whatever it took and pay as much as required to obtain a baby as quickly as possible.

They didn’t care if it was an unethical adoption, if they had to bypass some pesky Federal law protecting Native American children.  They cared only about getting a child however they could.  And after they got her, decided nobody could possibly “want” her like they did.

Unfortunately, for Dusten, he didn’t have the power of the multi-billion dollar adoption industry behind him.  He had no knowledge of the laws created to get around a father’s rights or the fact that the mother of his child would be instructed how to make sure he, himself, would be penalized under such laws.

While the Capobiancos paid good money for their attorney, Ray Godwin (involved in another, current unethical adoption) and for Christy’s first attorney, Phyllis Zimmerman, Dusten was ultimately denied any chance to seek representation for himself.  By making sure the plans for adoption were kept hidden from him, they kept themselves in the position of power to satisfy their quest for a child.

From the start of this, the Capobianco’s PR team has promoted the same old story, created to make them look like the innocent victims in this case and Dusten as the monster swooping in after two years to steal their child away.

But those of us who have fought in the world of adoption reform recognize the same pattern that fathers before, and unfortunately after, Dusten have been forced to face in having their rights stripped away. 

And we know, and understand, Dusten never had a chance.

As the testimony comes out, it becomes clearer and clearer that Dusten started out in this entire situation as an ordinary, average guy with the same good points and faults as the rest of us.  He was a man madly in love with his fiancée . . .

- - - “I decided I was going to get engaged with her because, you know, she was the love of my life at that point in time and I was for certain that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

He was also a solider, living on base (four hours away from Christy Maldonado) training for an upcoming deployment to Iraq . . .

- - - “Q. Prior to being deployed to Iraq, you were stationed in Fort Sill, Oklahoma; is that correct?
A. That’s correct.
Q. And how far away is Fort Sill from Barters – Bartlesville, Oklahoma?
A. It’s approximately four hours.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

And he was excited to learn his fiancée was pregnant . . .

- - - “Q. Can you explain to me – explain to the court, the time you were engaged – well tell me this. When did you find out she was pregnant?
A. It was in January 2009. She called me up and told me that – that we were expecting a child.
Q. What was your reaction?
A. I was very happy.
Q. Why?
A. This is the person that I loved.  I was wanting to unite my family, my daughter with her kids, and, you know, start this family. This is the person I want to spend my life with.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

But his happiness was short lived.  While on base, training and preparing for deployment to a war zone, contact with Christy suddenly started to dwindle away . . .

- - - “Q. But you were saying in March – or April, April of 2009 I think you said, that it began to decrease.  Did you call her and did she answer your phone calls?
A. Sometimes she answered. At some point it stopped where I didn’t get no answer from either text or phone call.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

- - - “I was still texting him, up until, like I said, March or April, maybe even May, to let him know every single month on what the doctor said.” (Christy Maldonado’s testimony, Sept. 2011)

Then, in May, Dusten was able to go home for a short period of time and though he had tried to see Christy, she denied him whenever he asked.  And then that family he had counted on, that life he had planned, crumbled around him . . .

- - - “I get half-way home to Fort Sill and I get a phone call or a text message stating that I needed to find someone in Lawton, Oklahoma, to be with instead of being with her.
Q. And that was from Christinna?
A. Yes ma’am.
Q. Did you text back?
A. I text back wanting to know what was going on and what happened. Was there anything I did wrong, you know, trying to get some sort of answer. And the only answer that I got was that I needed to find someone else to be with.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

And from that point on, his life was about to take a drastic turn.  Though he didn’t know it yet, the wheels had already begun spinning and soon a multi-billion dollar adoption industry, a desperate couple with the money to get what they wanted, and the woman he loved, would all be a part of deceiving him in the worst of ways – to gain off of his daughter, Veronica Rose Brown.

In June, Matt and Melanie Capobianco were matched with Christy Maldonado.  And ironically at that same time the well-known, damning text message was delivered . . .

- - - “Q. Okay.  You said that she had asked you if you wanted to sign your rights away?
A. Yes ma’am.
Q. Why did you think she was asking you to do that?
A. Honestly I don’t know. It was a big surprise to me because, you know, because the whole split up, breakup, was a shock, you know. We had a really good relationship.
Q. And at some point in this June text conversation did you – did you tell her that you would agree ---
A. I want to say ---
Q. --- to sign?
A. --- it was a couple of days later that, you know, I believe she sent me another text message back.  I’m not for certain, but I replied back in a text message to her stating that I would sign my rights to her.
Q. Why did you do that?
A. In my mind I thought that if I would do that I’d be able to give her time to think about this and possibly maybe we could get back together and continue what we had started.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept 2011) - - -

What Dusten didn’t know was at that point, he’d already lost.  That the text message used (and yet not allowed in court because the phone conveniently disappeared and all that they had to show as proof was one-sided, disjointed pictures) to get him to say what they wanted was a common practice used on fathers before him.  That, more than likely, Christy was just another pregnant mother of many who had been coached by the adoption industry on what to say to get the desired response.

The use of text messages to trick a father out of his rights is such common practice these days that I don’t believe for a minute that there is any coincidence in the events coming together as they did – the matching of Christy and the Capobiancos during the same time she was pushing Dusten to give up custody.  The process had already begun and the only thing standing in the way of the Capobiancos getting the child they desired was Dusten Brown.

Dusten is very upfront and honest (which is more than I can say for either Christy or Melanie in their fumbling testimonies) in his cross examination when asked about supporting Christy . . .

 - - - “Is it accurate to say that you did not pay any medical bills connected with baby girl’s birth?
A. No, sir, I didn’t.
Q. And prior to the birth on September 15th of 2009 you did not pay for any living expenses or pregnancy-related expenses connected to baby girl’s birth?
A. That is correct.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

But, at that time, Dusten had absolutely no experience with adoption.  He was unaware, as most fathers are, of the adoption industry abandonment laws created to strip fathers of their rights.  While the Capobiancos and Christy had the coaching of the adoption agency and adoption attorneys who know exactly how to manipulate the laws, Dusten was in mandatory training, facing the upcoming deployment to Iraq . . . where so many of our soldiers never returned from . . . while having to deal with a fiancée who not only broke off their engagement but was pushing him to give up custody of his child to her.

There was no way Dusten knew it was very deliberate that Christy avoided his attempts to contact her during that time.

- - - “I contacted friends and family to see if maybe they’d seen her around or about because I had made phone calls and text messages that never got replied from or back to me.  I didn’t know if maybe she had possibly changed her number or moved away.  I did not know at all.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

The giant of the multi-billion dollar adoption industry had officially taken over, not just his life, but the life of his unborn child.  It was no longer about him and Christy as the parents.  It wasn’t about any hopes they might work it out between them or find common ground for their child.  At that point, it was about the couple paying for his child – Matt and Melanie Capobianco – and satisfying their desires.

Those with the power and knowledge knew better than to allow Dusten to pay a single penny for his daughter . . .

- - - “Q. Was there any time, any other time that you can think of, that the birth mother ever asked you for financial assistance?
A. She never asked for financial assistance.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

- - - “Q. Did you ever make any attempt, through either the state of Oklahoma or the Cherokee Nation to collect child support from the birth father?
A. No.” (Christy Maldonado’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

Even Veronica’s own grandmother had to be denied the chance to help if they were going to build the abandonment case and make sure the Caopbiancos walked away with the baby they wanted.

- - - “And I finally got her number, oh, shortly before she had the baby. And we found out that she had had the baby and it was about two weeks after she delivered. And I had called her and left a message because she wouldn’t answer the phone. And I left a message and I said, Chrissy [sic], this is Alice, Dusty’s Mom.  I said, we have some gifts from the family.  It was money and a little blanket  that I made for the baby and some little socks, Elmo, Kissy Baby, and a rabbit we had bought the baby – or Dusty had bought the baby for Easter it was. And I had bought the baby a little book.  I think it was me who bought it, but I’m not sure.
(Deputy handed tissue to witness.)
WITNESS: Thank you.
Q. And did she return your phone call?
A. No.
Q. At some point did you attempt to call her again from a different phone?
A. Yeah.
Q. Can you tell me about that?
A. I went to Wal-Mart and I called from a pay phone so that she wouldn’t recognize the phone number and she didn’t answer it either.
Q. Do you recall if you left a message?
A. No, I didn’t leave a message.  I just hung back up.
Q. And did all of your attempts to contact Christy before and after her pregnancy go unanswered?
A.  That – yeah.” (Alice Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

Because, not only did they need to manipulate the abandonment laws to their advantage, they also needed to make sure they did what they could to cut Christy off from any help or support from others so that the Capobiancos could come in, use their money to “help” Christy and, in every way, buy Veronica by manipulating Christy into feeling obligated to them and giving them her baby in exchange for the expenses, bills, gifts, they gave her.

- - - “Q. Have you received some financial assistance from the adoptive couple?
A. Yes.
Q. They paid for your lawyer?
A. Yes.
Q. And what else have you received from them?
A. After I had the baby, they paid some of the bills to help me out, and I have received some money for food.
Q. Is that all?
A. Yeah.
Q. Did they pay your rent?
A.No.
Q. Did they pay ---
A. Actually, I don’t remember what bills they have paid. I can’t remember.  But I know they did pay some bills.” (Christy Maldonado’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

- - - “Q. Did you provide, you and your husband provide funds for the birth mother’s medical expenses?
A. I’m not exactly sure. I know – probably, yeah. We probably did.” (Melanie Capobianco’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

And yet, Matt and Melanie Capobianco and the multi-billion dollar adoption industry still weren’t done with Dusten Brown or his unborn child.  Even though they had done all they could to make sure the abandonment laws came into play and that Dusten’s ex-fiancee would be indebted to, and firmly controlled by the Capobaincos, there still was that risk of knowing he would never agree to his child being given away for adoption.

So the best way to overcome such a pesky obstacle was to simply not let this soldier, in training to be deployed to a war zone for our country, know that there was a couple paying good money in the hopes of adopting his child.  To make sure he wasn’t informed of what was happening.  To guarantee that the cash and power happening behind his back would ensure the Capobiancos walked away with his baby, because that is what they paid for and what they expected in return.

- - - “Q. Did you have any idea that she was asking you that because she intended to give this child up – your child up for adoption?
A. I had no idea that giving that child up for adoption. I had nothing in the back of my mind thinking that even.
Q. If you had known something that you would have agreed with?
A.  If I knew that that’s – the adoption was going on, I would have said no, I wanted to keep my rights. And I would have fought them. I would have started right then and there. I would have went to military JAG and got a military lawyer and got started in the process of what I needed to do.” (Dusten Brown’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

- - - “Q.  Okay.  I – I just want to make sure on this question, was it your testimony earlier that you – you never personally told the biological father that you were placing this child for adoption?
A. No.
Q. You did not tell him?
A. No.” (Christy Maldonado’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

But deceiving Dusten and denying him the chance to know that the Capobiancos had paid to adopt his child, wasn’t enough guarantee.  The adoption industry and Matt and Melanie Capobianco also needed to make sure that they worked around ICWA, the Federal Law in place to protect Veronica from ever suffering the loss of her family, her heritage, her culture.

If they were going to have their desires satisfied, they were going to have to make sure such protections were denied Veronica before she was ever born.

- - - “Q. You told everybody, every agency involved, this child’s father is an Indian.  He’s a member of the Cherokee Indian Nation?
A. Yes.” (Christy Maldonado testimony, Sept 2011) - - -

- - - “Q. Okay,  And did you understand prior to birth that there was the possibility this child could possibly be an  Indian child? I believe the background report indicated some of that as you’ve already testified that you understood.
A. Uh-huh.
Q. Okay.  Did you understand if the birth father and Tribe came forward, that again, you would not be able to adopt this child?
A. If they – you mean if she were Cherokee?
Q. Right.
A. Yes.” (Melanie Capobianco’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

- - - “Q. What did you think would happen if the Indian Nation was alerted to the fact that this was an Indian child that you were trying to give up for adoption?
A. Well, I know that some things were going to come into effect, but I wasn’t for sure on what.
Q.  Did you think it would help the adoption process or hurt it?
A. Well, I’m not for sure.
Q. Did you have any feeling on that either way?
A. Well, I was worried about it.” (Christy Maldonado’s testimony, Sept. 2011) - - -

Yet, even with all of that, with their well-paid attorneys and long-time operating agency, they still try to make the claim that it was nothing more than an innocent mistake to not only misspell Dusten’s name but to also put down the wrong birth date on the paperwork submitted to the Cherokee Nation to determine whether or not Veronica was protected by her father’s citizenship in the tribe.

And yet, ironic, isn’t it, if they hadn’t done everything they could to deceive Dusten and block him from having any say, any protection, any representation in the fate of his daughter being given away for adoption, they would have had the exact and correct information needed.

But, that wasn’t the intent.  Dusten was the barrier in the Capobiancos getting what they desired so there was no way they were going to reach out to him in any way.  Not when he represented the threat keeping them away from the baby they were paying for.

And so Dusten lost, Veronica lost, while Matt and Melanie continued to take advantage of the situation, of the power and knowledge of the multi-billion dollar adoption industry, to gain, to fulfill what they wanted for their own satisfaction.

Then it came time for Veronica Rose Brown’s birth and the worst of the coercion and manipulation came into play.  The process of cutting Dusten completely out of Christy’s and his unborn child’s life had worked well.  The deception, the games, the lies, were good tactics against a solider training to deploy to a war zone to fight for our country.

He was limited to what he could do, any actions he could take to continue the frustrating task of trying to get Christy to respond to him, because he was preparing to fight for the very rights of those who were working behind his back to strip his own rights away from him

Because yes, Matt and Melanie Capobianco and all their money, the well-paid attorneys, the adoption agency, and even Christy, herself, worked hard, did all they could to make sure Dusten had no rights to his own child.  They took every advantage of the fact that he was training and preparing to fight for their rights.  Used his service to our country against him to benefit their own selfish desires and used his disadvantage – the orders and regulations that kept him unable to leave base, focused on the deployment coming up – to take his child away from him, without his knowledge, while he prepared to fight for our country.

And so they did, proudly in fact, take the last bit of everything away from Dusten.  After being a part of the deception to cut him out of Christy’s and his unborn child’s life, they delivered the final knife to Dusten’s fight.  They snubbed their nose at him, flashed the middle finger at the sacrifices he was giving for THEIR OWN rights, and willfully, and gleefully, invaded the intimacy of birth so that they could be the ones in the delivery room, cutting the umbilical cord of the baby girl they had bought and deceived away from her own parents.

And it was then, when another man dared to believe he could pay for, deceive and trick his way into taking Dusten’s place as Veronica Rose Brown’s father that the everyday, average soldier and father began his journey to so much more.

It was then that he took the first steps, without even knowing yet, from being not just a hero fighting for our country.  But an even greater hero fighting for his daughter . . .      (To Be Continued)






Keep Veronica Home

Friday, September 6, 2013

Veronica Rose Brown - Another Pawn In The Game

So, I’ve been procrastinating for most of the day. 

I had a blog post I was working on, but it was close, it was personal and I was struggling.

So, in response, I was stalling.  And what better way to stall then check out Facebook?  Especially when it is so easy to minimize that big blank white page waiting for you to add a word and be rewarded with all the latest and greatest from your friends, family and groups.

That’s when I became aware that the support page for the Capobianco’s (so righteously claiming Veronica needs to be saved from her own family) ran and maintained by their own personal PR team - - because, hey, every couple wanting to take a child from a loving, capable father needs a PR team backing them - - had recently posted this . . .

- - - “Veronica’s birth mother is devastated that the man who abandoned her and her daughter continues to dodge dealing with any consequences for his actions or lack thereof.  Please pray that Christy will be reunited with Veronica again soon.” - - -

I had to bite my tongue . . . hard . . . when it came to the ridiculous claims of abandoning her and Veronica and the mere suggestion that a father who has turned himself in TWICE to authorities because of his fight for his own daughter is somehow dodging consequences, because I knew better and I, really, don’t even wish to challenge that group.  Just reading their comments is enough to make any First Parent or Adoptee who has gone through the loss of adoption come away feeling like they have been punched in the gut.

But I absolutely hate when anybody, especially adoptive parents, speak for a First Mother.  Whether I agree with Christy or not.  Whether I go back and forth from hating her for what she has done to worrying about the coercion and manipulation she, more than likely, has, and continues to, face, I am so tired of the Capobianco supporters placing her on that well-known, happy beemommie pedestal that so many of us First Moms know means nothing more than hailing us as heroes as long as we behave and speak as expected.  As long as we degrade ourselves, our abilities to be a good mother, to reassure adoptive parents how good they are for saving our poor children from the terrible lives we would have offered them.

And so, for the second time ever, I posted to their page. (The first was to ask the page to keep Dusten’s older daughter out of the chaos – which the admins responded with yet another attack against Dusten instead of any respect or protection for the innocent child they were brining into the ugliness.)

And the saddest thing is, I knew, going in, it would be my last time posting there.  I knew, trying to stand up for Christy, for what she might be feeling, was going to bring the anger, the attacks.

And I was not proven wrong.

I spoke out ONLY for Christy, other First Moms and Adoptees.  Forcing myself past the posts that called Dusten nothing more than a sperm donor.  The declarations that fathers didn’t really deserve their equal rights.  The continual attack against natural families and the foot-stomping, continuous demand - - “What about our rights” - - repeated by adoptive parents fighting so hard to strip natural parents, and worst of all, innocent children, of their own rights.

Here are the screen shots of the comments I was able to make before I was deleted and blocked from commenting for no other reason than I was standing up and speaking out for First Moms, Adoptees and the very person they claim to love and hold as some wonderful hero . . . Christy Maldonado.



















That was the line.  That was as far as I was allowed to go before every one of my comments was deleted and I was blocked from posting any more.  I was kicked out, erased, for speaking out about supporting Christy as well as other First Mothers and Adoptees, the very thing that page claims they love OH SO MUCH!

The sad truth is, they don’t’ give a damn about First Mothers,  Adoptees, and saddest of all, Christy or Veronica. 

They support and encourage Veronica becoming an Adoptee, losing her identity, her equal rights, to satisfy the selfish desires of the Capobiancos.

And they care about Christy only so far as they can use her in the same way so many First Mothers are used by Adoptive Parents . . . to lift up their own egos, reassure them that their adoption was proof of doing the right thing and saving a child from some terrible life with their own natural family.

They have elevated Christy to almost “Saint” status, but that obviously comes with a cost – she must act, say and perform in their own required way. 

As of the last time I checked, right before writing this, not a one of those supporters commented, cared, or showed one ounce of concern in really and truly learning how best to support and help Christy.  Every word I said about helping her, protecting her, supporting her, was deleted, erased, because they don’t want to be bothered with anything that might equal grief or pain.

They only want to hold Christy up as a hero to justify their fight to preserve adoption as they want it to be practiced – through deception, coercion and manipulation.

Regardless of the reasons why Christy did what she did, there is no question she is being used and manipulated by the Capobiancos and their supporters.  It’s not truly about her, about her feelings. 

It’s about what she can offer to those who are so desperate to use her pain, her loss to satisfy their own wants and desires.

And this, in their own words towards me for daring to speak up for Christy, for First Mothers and Adoptees, is the best proof I can offer to just how much they really give a damn . . .











And, to end with, my favorite of them all.  Because really, when you can’t think of new and creative ways to attack a First Mother standing up for other First Mothers and Adoptees, you are left to resort to this . . .


Not one single person had any comment, any question about how they could truly help Christy.  Where they might be able to go to learn, to understand what she might be going through.  Or might face in the future.

There was not a single mention about protecting her by the Capobiancos doing whatever they could to make it legally binding that Christy remain in Veronica’s life.  Not a single concern about the fact that she could be completely shut off without a second thought if that is what they chose to do.

Regardless of the reasons why Christy did what she did.  Whether she truly is just an evil woman out to deceive and harm Dusten or a mother who is another of many victims to the coercion and manipulation of the adoption industry, none of that changes the fact that she is now nothing more than another pawn being used to tear Veronica away from her family.

All their praise, setting her up high on that pedestal, will never change the fact that Christy has now joined the long line of First Mothers before her, and after her, being used and controlled so that others will benefit off, not just her loss, but the terrible loss of her own child.

Perhaps someday, she will follow in Dusten’s footsteps and find the courage to stand up and speak out.  Maybe there will come a time when she will realize just how terribly she is being used, how much suffering her own daughter is being put through for those that claim they care about her but show, in their own words, they truly don’t.

Someday, I hope, she will find the strength to no longer be their pawn and instead realize true courage, true heroes, stand up and fight for their children – just as Dusten has done for four years.  Just as Christy could do now if she was finally able to break free from the damaging hold the Capobiancos and their supporters have over here.

There’s always hope . . . right?