Friday, August 23, 2013

To Lori Alvino McGill (Part Two)

I have to admit, in all the years I have been active in the fight for Adoption Reform and Adoptee Rights, been out-spoken for Father’s Rights, I have never come across a situation such as what has happened in the last couple days.


In my last blog post,  I shared the personal message I received from Lori Alvino McGill, the attorney for Christy Maldonado, the Birth Mother in the Baby Veronica case. (Miss Veronica now that she is almost four years old.)

And then I received an, oh, so polite, I’ll do everything I can to prove it wasn’t me response which obviously was written in the tone it was because I was expected to share it publicly right away so that she could redeem herself through the same pattern of deception we’ve seen over and over again from those fighting to remove Veronica from her own family.


And then, when I didn’t do as she wanted and go public right away with the response she sent, she came to my blog to call me out on it and again resort to deception in her attempt to deny the message she sent.


I guess what she didn’t realize is that this is my blog and it’s my time.  And I am in no way bound to her expectations and wants.

She brought this to me (regardless of her weak attempts and pathetic threats to prove otherwise.) I didn’t call her out, invoke a conversation of any kind, or even mention her once by name in anything I have written.  And so I have absolutely no obligation to respond, react, or do anything according to her desires.

I’m also just a mother and a writer.  I’m not a fellow attorney.  I’m not bound by any regulations or court orders (like the gag order that I would assume included EVERYONE personally involved in the case.) So there is absolutely nothing that requires me to act in the way Ms. McGill had hoped I would.  It wasn’t up to me to go public with her attempt to deny the message.  She has the same access I do to the messages between us so she had the exact same opportunity to publicly share her response.

And yet, working on my reply to her was nothing but writing and deleting . . . writing and deleting.  Because, honestly, what did I have left to say?  I’d asked the questions I had that she didn’t bother to answer.  And though, I kept thinking of responses to her platitudes of having sympathy for my story and requests that I respect a situation that is demanding a daughter be taken away from her loving father for no other reason than another couple wants her for their own, I knew there was nothing to be said that could ever change her beliefs, just as there is nothing that could be said to change mine.

I will admit, though, when I received her comment on my blog, I had all kind of responses ready to be shared.  I was on a roll.  I was going to fight this battle with her until the very end.  She brought me in to this with her.  She played her games, made her claims. And now I was going to fight it out.

But why?

That’s the question that got me. 

Because, sure, I could do a scathing response to her.  I could ride that wave of justification and just let her have it.

But none of that matters when it comes to the reality of the one who truly is important in all of this . . . Miss Veronica.  A little girl with a fourth birthday coming close and a life that is full of such chaos and uncertainty that she doesn’t deserve.

And so my response has changed.

Because, to me, this isn’t about messages exchanged or laws or courts.  This is about Veronica.  This is about a little girl who is, sadly, another victim in what our society accepts from the adoption industry and their continued destruction of a child’s rights to his or her own natural family, heritage, ancestory.

I see this picture and I know she is right where she belongs, where she has always belonged.

Veronica has a chance so many other children, who get caught up in this world of adoption, are denied.  She has it all there before her . . . a family that loves and cherishes her.  That will always understand her strange quirks, her unexplainable likes and dislikes.

She can look at her dad, her older sister, her grandparents, and see herself.  She can share the customs that are unique to her own family.  Can always know, good or bad, crazy or sane, the family she is surrounded by is hers by the strongest bond of all.  Because they share what can never be broken by any law, any court . . . the reality of who they are by the past of those who are a part of them.

I just can’t comprehend that anyone can look into that little girl’s eyes and tell her that they believe her dad doesn’t deserve to keep her, to raise her.  That because of laws created by the adoption industry to strip fathers of their rights, she must lose everything she has a right to have.

I can’t imagine taking her out of her father’s arms and telling her, this is what our society believes is best for you.  This is what they support, what our media portrays as the right thing . . . the loss of your natural family to be given away to others.

How do you explain to her why she must go through this?  Why she already had to suffer such a traumatic loss once in her life because there were no laws to protect her rights when it was clear, when she was only four months old – before any adoption was ever finalized - that she was not a child in need of another family.  That because the laws favored the couple wanting to adopt her, and not her own right to her natural family, there was nothing that protected her legally from being spared a long, drawn-out fight for what was, in every way, an unnecessary separation from her father, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

In the end, when all the arguments and outside influences narrows down to what really is at stake, it’s about Veronica and the very real threat she faces of losing something so many of us take for granted . . . her family that is a part of her, reflects her and gives her the comfort and understanding of who she is because she is surrounded by the answer in those who share the unique bond of knowing her because she is a part of them.

There just are no excuses, no laws, no arguments that are worthy of taking her from that.  Taking her from everything that is her right to have.

And there is nothing to gain for Veronica in arguing with an attorney who will never be on the side of Veronica and her natural family.  But will always be on the side of the adoption industry and the profits gained by separating children from their families.




***If you believe in Veronica's right to stay with her loving, caring, natural family, please visit . . . ***


39 comments:

  1. Well said Cassi! Sometimes it isn't worth the argument. And I, too, think we should stay calm even when we want to do otherwise. One day Veronica is going to be reading all this, and we want her to be proud of us and how we fought for her. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you are finally shutting your mouth. You finally got yourself smart enough to know it's a waste of time to attack an attorney who is supporting a mother's right to choose for her child when Veronica will end up going home to South Carolina with her real family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning, Anonymous.

      Please allow me to clarify a few things . . . I'm smart enough to know when it's useless to try and argue with someone who is a part of all that is unethical and wrong in the adoption. I'm smart enough to know that Lori Alvino McGill does not fight for a woman's right to choose but, instead, fights for separating children from their families so the industry can continue to profit off of them.

      And I'm smart enough to know that Veronica's real, natural, loving family is in Oklahoma!

      Delete
    2. A mother has the right to choose not to raise a child. But she doesn't have the right to deny the child from being raised by the other parent. It is the child's birthright to be with family, not the mother's choice to deny her.

      Delete
    3. Real families are not the one's who BUY you from a baby broker.August 23, 2013 at 11:58 AM

      That is not her "real family", you stupid idiot and why don't you shut your mouth. People like you make me want to punch people like you square in the face. What an imbecile.

      Delete
    4. The father must be consulted in a mother's right to choose for her child, btw. Veronica is living with her REAL family. Money doesn't make a family "real."

      Disgusting and delusional, anon.

      Delete
  3. How could any humane society do this? Thank you, Cassie, for speaking for Veronica.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow!!! You nailed it again. You and I are on the same page when it comes to this case. Not sure if you seen my response yesterday on a post on Standing Our Ground for Veronica Brown but I did have a little message for the C's but it was not in no way an attack on them or their supporters. This case is already full of nastiness from both sides and I feel I do not need to add fuel to the fire. After all this is not about us, it is about a sweet little innocent girl who I am afraid will not have her voiced heard.

    Here is the link to the article: http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-baby-veronica-fiasco-blame-game.html

    Here is what I wrote:

    This is exactly how I feel about the situation. I am for what is best for Veronica at this point. I think this is a larger mess than it should be and do feel like the C's should have bowed out once they realized Dusten was trying to stand up and be a father. If I were in his shoes I would be doing the same thing if not more. Hell I probably would have been living in Russia or some where else with no extradition to the US with my daughter by now.

    I truly believe that at Veronica's current age a removal from Dusten and his family will be detrimental to her development and social skills. Not to mention it is going to break the hearts of Dusten and her bio family. Which people have died of broken hearts.

    I can understand that the C's have been hurting to but they had time to grieve her return back to her father. They should find comfort that the fact she is well adjusted and loved by him and his family after being pulled away from them. They should be able to see that it is the right thing to do and that Veronica is a happy well adjusted child.

    C's only one statement for you "Just do the right thing and keep Veronica home" and move on. Adoption can be a good thing and there are so many children out there looking for a home and I do feel you could offer a child a loving and warm home. Please do not continue to be pushed by the birth mother, Troy Dunn, the media, or anyone else. I know deep down in your heart you know it is the right thing to do. This has gone on long enough and the more you push the more you do look like monsters.

    Melanie you should know all of this because of your chosen field of employment, training, and education and should know that Veronica doesn't think badly of you two now but at this point I am afraid she will if taken from a loving and caring father that she has lived with for almost 20 months now whom she now has a very close bond with. You could stop all of this today if you would just open up your hearts and do what you feel is right. Think with your heart not with your head.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Again why would she even go on FB in the first place since she is the lawyer for the bio mom? Why even engage you in a conversation considering she is not suppose to talk about it? But Cassi your reply was excellent! This is all about Veronica and what is best for her and that is to be with her Daddy who has fought for her for a very long time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Anonymous, if you don't like what she has to say don't read it. You should be ashamed of your behavior...it interesting that who you are is a secret!

    Cassi I love to your blog...I thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cassi, Thank you for this. With everything that has happened I worry that Veronica's voice, the one who truly matters has been lost in all of this. That little girl deserves the right to be raised by her biological father. He is fit, stable, financially secure, and most of all, he LOVES her.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dearest Cassi, I am very proud of how you have handled yourself in this. If anyone has any reason to be ashamed it's this attorney. She should be ashamed for interjecting her own bias on the support page for the Brown family, she should be ashamed for calling names, and using social media to once again draw attention to a little girl who really should not be under this type of scrutiny. Frankly as I said on my own blog, this little human, this little person, deserves to be with the family who has fought for her for so long, and so hard. What she does not deserve is to someday read all those negative things that supporters of the C's have written about her family, including this person who keeps messaging you and insisting that she did not message you. Sadly for her there are trackers that allow one to know these things. Just as sadly the internet is forever and her rant on the facebook page supporting the Brown family is indeed still out there, captured in all it's glory.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I understand the emotions in this case, I too have adopted but choose to adopt from overseas. Also, we choose to adopt to complete our family even though we have 2 bio children. What people are forgetting is Vernoica is also Latino! In fact, she has more Latino blood than she has Indian blood. Also, what people are forgetting is that their hero DB didn't even acknowledge he was NA until months after he filed. He then had to ammend it because he knew his only chance of getting custody was of ICWA. Must be nice to claim NA when it suits you. The supporters of DB are trying to dig up dirt on the C's (has been proven they were lies). Is that a way to support someone? To tell lies? This is an ugly case but DB did not want his child from the beginning. He proved that over and over. Why should any man be able to change his mind like this after the fact? And everyone is screaming about V's best interest - what about 19 months ago when she was over 2 years old and was taken away from everthing she knew? Seems odd to me that those who said "too bad" are now screaming the same thing - wanting V to have her rights. Funny - that is exactly what SVR wants. For this child and all children to have rights. ICWA should never have been applied in this case - that has been decided by SCOTUS. DB has had her now for 19 months. She hasn't been allowed to see her bio-mom in 19 months. Is that okay? Or is this just about DB's right? Is it okay to strip away the mom's right? And don't say she terminated her rights. She terminated her rights if the C's adopt her. They had an open adoption. But I guess all that doesn't matter now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, he shouldn't have had to use ICWA to win. He should have simply had to say, "I'm her gather and I want her." That should have been enough. And as far as her best interests, it was always her best interest to be with her father if her mother didn't want her.

      Delete
    2. "Also, what people are forgetting is that their hero DB didn't even acknowledge he was NA until months after he filed"

      Not true. In fact, one of the first major issues is that the bmom did know that he was registered as an Indian and that an error (spelling of name and DOB) was made by her attorney when she wrote off to the CN on 21/8/09 to determine whether DB was enrolled. The return letter said "based on the above listed information EXACTLY as provided by you, Baby Girl was not an Indian child". Note the "EXACTLY" - the CN clearly says that the information must be accurate. In fact, he was registered and had been registered for a long time but because of the misspelling and incorrect dates, he was not found. It is quite possible that if the information had been accurately provided at the time, none of this would be happening - she would quite probably have been with her dad right from the start.

      http://www.nicwa.org/BabyVeronica/documents/SCOTUS%20fact%20check_Apr4.pdf

      Delete
    3. bbmomof2boys, I see your ignorance of the Cherokee Nation and Dusten Brown are glowing in the dark! FYI, Dusten has been enrolled in the CN since he was very young, It takes a year to get through the enrollment process so therefore it would be impossible for him to have enrolled suddenly... along with the fact the bio mom and Capobiancos testified that they KNEW Dusten was a member of the Cherokee Nation before Veronica was even born!
      Veronica is not "Latino" Her mothers family is from MEXICO, which is people who are Native American, mixed with Spanish... so if you want to argue the BQ issue, you screwed yourself since Mexico is part of the Americas and before Columbus and the Spaniards arrive, the people were full blood Native Americans.. in fact, there are still Native American tribes there today that have NO Spanish blood in them, then your ignorance steps more out, because the bio mom testified in court that she has Cherokee blood in her! She is just not enrolled... now keep on with yourself, may karma get you for stealing children from another country,,,,

      Delete
  10. Did you by chance adopt from overseas to avoid those pesky "birth"parents? ;)

    " And everyone is screaming about V's best interest - what about 19 months ago when she was over 2 years old and was taken away from everthing she knew?"

    Because it IS in Miss Veronica's BEST INTERESTS to be kept in her BLOOD, NATURAL, BIRTH FAMILY (whatever term you'd like to use) if at all possible. It IS possible, being her Dad wants her!! If he didn't, why do you think he's taken impeccable care of her over the past almost 2 years? Remember baby Jessica (DeBoer) from the early 90's? Anna (her real name) was taken from the DeBoer's when she was 2 1/2. In an interview when she was 19, Anna says she has no memories of her time with the Deboer's, and feels angry towards them for what she calls "legally kidnapping her." Anna believes that the Deboer's caused her birth parents, to miss out on her baby years. To this day, the Schmidt's still don't have any baby photo's of their daughter, as they are all owned by the Deboer's. She has no wish to contact them.

    Veronica's rights, first and foremost, are to be raised by the family into which she was born. Just what is it that the C's can offer her that her true family cannot? I'd love to hear the answer to that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't even sit there and judge me. You don't know me nor my family. We went overseas because that is what we wanted to do. Period. It had nothing to do with "pesky birth parents".

    I see you can't give any type of response to the things I stated except for what you think is in her best interest. You sound anti-adoption. That's fine, that's your choice and your opinion. I don't see anywhere in my comment that I stated V should go back to her adoptive parents - why did you even assume that? Why are you so defensive? I'm just stating facts that people seem to "forget". I am torn about where she should go. I've stated this many times in many places. But the Standing our ground group is trying to dig up dirt and spewing absolute lies and I want it known.

    So what about her mom? What about her other heritage? What about the fact that DB didn't even say he was NA until it suited him? If people are going to say she needs to know her heritage then she needs to know about ALL! If people are saying he is NA and the "whites" are stealing our NA kids then they need to know that DB wouldn't admit he was NA. What does that say about his character? *crickets*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol...typically hypocritical.

      "Don't even sit there and judge me." Then, after reading one or two replies of mine, you VERY JUDGMENTALLY state " You sound anti-adoption." As you pointed out, I don't know you any more than you know me. I'm not anti-adoption per say. There will always be a need for it. I am anti "the way infant adoptions are carried out today." I am anti-adoption when it comes to coercion,different "prices" for white babies vs. minority babies, big dollars exchanging hands, deceiving the biological father, advertising for babies via business cards, on-line ads, facebook pages, BILLBOARDS, etc. and closed records for adoptees. I am anti "turning babies into commodities." Yes, so if that makes me a terrible person who is going to hell, so be it. I'll be in good company.

      Your first post is very negative against Dusten Brown. I don't think that assuming you were pro-Capobianco was *that* far fetched.

      Oh, and try telling me you've never heard of people going overseas to adopt in order to avoid dealing with the birthfamilies. Not really an unrealistic assumption, but my apologies if that played no part in why you adopted overseas.

      Delete
    2. It's funny how adoptoraptors don't want to be judged! "That's what we wanted to do." Oh, yes, it's ALL about what YOU want, isn't it? Ever hear the expression: Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD do something?

      There is no other reason adoptoraptors go overseas to adopt. They simply want a baby with "no strings attached" aka biological family.

      Delete
    3. Oh yes, I will judge you and judge you as much as I like! As you have judged Dusten and his family, you have made judgment on issues you are obviously ignorant about. If you don't like it happening to you, don't do it to others!

      Delete
  12. @Victoria - He choose to stay out of this childs life - that has been proven by his OWN testimony in court. If he had wanted her when she was 1 day old or even 1 mintue old he should have been stating he is the father and filing. He didn't. He DIDN'T want the responsibility. Don't even go there. Has he changed? Possibly, I can give him credit where credit is due. But when this child was first born he didn't want her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For someone that is torn, you sure seen to be confident that he shouldn't get her because he didn't file 1 minute after she was born. Care to explain away his marriage proposal too? And trying to speed up the wedding?

      When I first met my husband, he courted me for about 2 months before he got a date. Then I wouldn't go out with him again. After another month of constant texts from him, I asked him to leave me alone and give me time. He did. I took that time to talk to friends about him. To think about him. To think about how a new relationship would affect my son. Eventually I called him and set up a second date. We are now married and have a child of our own.

      I can completely see where Dusten backed off to give Christy the time she needed. But keep in mind there were several attempts to contact her to give gifts and see the baby. I wholeheartedly believe that had he known what she was planning to do, he would have filed those papers before Veronica was born.

      Delete
    2. bbmomof2, really? Lets point out to you some facts, first is bio mom had a elected inducement of labor ten days before her due date so that the Capobianco's could be there to take this child out of Oklahoma before Dusten could find out, she was on a "no report status" at the hospital which means no one could find out anything... yet you expected him to be there for the birth even though SHE cut off ALL communications with him? Do you think he had a crystal ball that he could see what was going on? You are a idiot!

      Delete
  13. Bbmom,

    The fact is that adoptions should only move forward when they are ethical. Dusten was not informed that his child had been given away by his mother. If it was an ethical relinquishment where it had been fully disclosed to him you might have a point...but he wasn't and you don't.

    I suppose you think it's ok that C's allow camera crews to follow them around and allowed their "spokesman" to invade a Pre-school cameras in tow to exploit Miss Veronica. People who take such actions should not be allowed to parent any child.

    There is no evidence that Dusten is anything but a loving father who believes in serving his country with honor. Cassi--thank you. This is a beautifully written piece.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Not everyone supportive of Standing Our Ground is trying to dig up dirt or spewing lies. I am only supporting Veronica's best interest and for me the group I am following most is Standing Our Ground because from everything I have read and educated myself on this case they are the most supportive of what is best for Veronica at this time not 20 months ago. 20 months ago I may have felt differently about this case.

    I for one have not said or supported anything that is hateful or hurtful to either side. However, I have seen others on both sides do it. Both sides have way too many people spouting off at the mouth who do not know the facts of this case. Sure they know the basics but the case is very complex.

    So please don't just say it is one side spreading lies and mistruth's, it is coming from both sides. You should probably go back and read the SCOTUS decision because you have either read, interpreted, or been given wrong information on the ruling. While you are at it please review the ICWA to get a clearer understanding of it's function in this case, SCOTUS only ruled on a very small part of ICWA in this case.

    I think once this is litigated through Oklahoma Courts and I am sure it will go back to the Supreme Court you will see the South Carolina courts screwed this adoption up all the way around. Again I truly feel this all started with bio mom and the adoption agency. I am more than convinced that there will be an investigation into the practices of this adoption agency not only with this case but some others that have came to light recently.

    Like I said in my earlier post. The C's need to stop listening to all the media, Troy Dunn, supporters, and attorney's and listen to their heart at this point. Sure it hurts but they should take comfort in knowing Veronica is a happy and well adjusted child at this point and is very happy to be living with her father.

    They should try adopting a child from our child welfare system. There are lots of children waiting for a forever home. I unlike some others do not see them as monsters at this point and do feel they are a caring and loving family and would have a lot to offer a child but if they keep pushing this and using the likes of Troy Dunn to try a portray themselves as victims in this case I may be seeing them in the same light soon.

    It's just this child already has a family and she has adjusted to that family. Time to stop the madness and move on. Here is a link if someone would like to share it with the C's. http://www.adoptuskids.org/ and http://icareaboutorphans.org/whatwedo/waitnomore/.

    My Wife and I attended at wait no more event and enjoyed all the stories we heard and were brought to tears through out the program. We were in the process of adopting a child through the foster care system when after 7 years of trying my wife became pregnant. However, we both still feel this is in our future and will look at fostering/adopt program again soon.

    If the C's would only attend one of these events and open their hearts I believe they to would be open to this option and stop trying to take a child from a father who clearly loves her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did not address it specifically to BBmom but most of my post was responding to your post.

      Delete
  15. Cassi,
    Very eloquent and mature post. Thank you for bringing us back to Veronica. She is the most important person in all of this and these events will effect her the most. Her best interests are not trivial, they are paramount - that is why the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UN CRC) explicitly states that the child's best interest should take priority in all matters concerning him/her.

    Unfortunately, she can't invoke her rights. She's not able to consent or voice disapproval to this unethical adoption, nor to having her legal and birthrights permanently stripped away.

    bbmomof2boys,
    are you talking about heritage or citizenship?
    - DB and Veronica are both citizens of CN and the US.
    - V's maternal heritage(s) - that was up to her mother. Her mother chose not to have her raised with her maternal heritage(s) intact - that was her mother's decision, not DB's. As an aside, growing up in OK, she may possibly be closer to her maternal roots as well.
    - V's paternal heritage(s) - staying with her father and paternal relatives, I think it's self-explanatory that she will grow up with her paternal heritage(s) more intact. That's why so many of us prefer family preservation over adoption in child welfare matters.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I never said I approved of Troy being involved. And again - I never said whether or not she should be back to her parents. As far as ICWA - I read the documents. I know what they say and I understand it. I also believe that the bio-mom has rights too under ICWA.

    Paige - this is an ethical adoption. And don't go off by what the other page says as far as "buying a baby". Adoption is expensive. DB wanted no part of this child then changed his mind.

    Jack - you are 100% right. I've seen the comments on both sites - the standing site has a TON more. Either way - its wrong on both sites. I'm also know the site you listed above. I'm very involved with orphans around the world. V was not an orphan in the true sense, but she WAS abandonded by her father.

    Kym- yep, I'm talking about heritage. Its been screamed that she needs to know her heritage. Yes, I agree with that - but again, lets not forget she has more than one. My daughter is learning about hers and I would expect V to learn about hers also.

    Once again no one has addressed any of the facts I've stated. This case is so ugly. My heart breaks for EVERYONE involved. This is a no-win situation no matter how you look at it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An adoption cannot be ethical if trickery is used to get a party to relinquish. Dusten wanted to get married. Is there any evidence that he was asked for support? And tell me, why would she ask him for support Pre birth if she was already taking money from the C's in exchange for her unborn child? Pregnancy is not a handicap requiring large sums of money to change hands. Dusten's actions since he discovered his daughter was being given away to genetic strangers has been nothing but dedicated and loving. He is not exploiting his daughter, he is fighting for her. She doesn't need strangers to take her away from a loving family.

      I believe spending tens of thousands of dollars is buying a child; pretty it up however you want, but it doesn't change facts.

      Delete
    2. Any adoption where there is a fit and willing parent is not an ethical adoption.

      Delete
  17. Ugh, it's not about "winning"! It's not a contest. Veronica is absolutely fine where she is. If anyone is winning right now, it's her. She's with "her people." She is happily living her life. She won't have to live with "adoptee issues." (except that her mother will have some 'splainin' to do) Why ON EARTH does that need to be disrupted?? Whatever happened in the beginning, and I'm not going to re-hash what's been stated over and over, it's DONE. She is where she is, and she is FINE. Why is that not enough? I don't get it. ::shrugs shoulders::

    ReplyDelete
  18. I couldn't agree more. The fact that adoption is unnecessary in this case is so sad. A child should only be adopted when it's necessary and s/he requires a caretaker. Being too young, single, or poor are such unnecessary reasons to tear apart mother and child. If prospective APs have fundraisers and tax credits to adopt, and adopting requires far more money than it would take for the REAL mother or father to feel supported in keeping their baby, where is the support for them? Why does everything in our society support giving babies to infertile strangers who want to pretend it's theirs? Veronica has a father who wants her and was unfairly stripped of that. Good moral people would've bid them farewell. The money involved in this is sickening and does not make Veronica theirs.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Obviously, even the SVR people,think Veronica is happy and well, why else would they post that bright, brilliantly smiling picture of the child that was taken in her father's home? No one can deny that she is a happy, thriving little girl with living well surrounded by the love of her family. I hope the SVR people can stop the harassment and really look at what is best for Veronica. She has a home already and she has a family that has loved her from the beginning despite the lies being told. The truth is, the proof of Veronica's safety and happiness is on SVR's very own Facebook page. Even they know she is ok with her dad.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm adopted and I'm trying to see this from Veronica's perspective. If YOU were a totally impartial counselor and YOU had to tell a young child their "story" - what would YOU say?

    Let's say Veronica gets to stay with her father. What story would you tell her when she asks what was all that fuss about? Why was everybody so worried and why were all those people coming and going and taking pictures of me?

    Let's say Veronica gets returned to the Capobiancos. What story would you tell her when she asks why that happened? Why am I not living in Oklahoma with my Mommy and Daddy and all of the animals and having my sister close by?

    She's nearly four years old. What would YOU tell her?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gaye,

    That's what I keep trying to figure out. How do you tell a child that even though that child knows her dad loves her, he isn't allowed to raise her because they won a legal battle in court and now they are her parents. It does not make sense, it is illogical to say the least. I am biased.

    Nor is there any way that she will be able to escape seeing her story and the fight that her dad put up. For crying out loud there is a Wikipedia page on the SCOTUS case.

    I just wish the C's could just let go, and honestly the way the adoption spin is given to the those "selfless, brave women who choose adoption" - perhaps it is high time an AP/PAP does the same - you know for the exact same reasons those "brave selfless women choose adoption" - are told why they do - in the best interests of the child.

    Cassi and other mothers - my words above are simply using the industries words on expectant moms...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cassi,

    WOW! I understand that it makes no sense to get into it any further with this attorney, but I still would love to hear her answer your questions from the previous posts. But like I said in my last comment, having the right questions often trumps having the answers anyhow.

    I got into a bit of a debate with a pro-CAP supporter on a message board somewhere--who knows where?--I was lost in a maze of Veronica links to stories, etc. The person was mad at me for writing, and she had seen me write it in more than one place, that it is unethical to fight a biological parent in a contested adoption. She used her status as an adult adoptee to support her argument.

    At that point, even though I still disagreed with her opinion, I felt sadness for her too. I don't know her whole story, but it struck me that Dusten Brown may represent the unfulfilled fantasy of many adopted persons--and personal reactions to that are going to vary.

    I didn't stop arguing though. While I felt for this anonymous person on "the other side," I was compelled to point out that we who have been touched by adoption are all going to have a visceral reaction to Veronica's case. And I wrote that I think Dusten Brown may represent the unfulfilled fantasy of many adoptees.

    At that point, the "opposing voice" stopped arguing with me! I don't know whether she felt it was pointless, or whether she realized I am not some evil person on her "other side," but in the end, my comment was to bring it back to Veronica--and her best interests--despite how this story personally makes us feel regarding our own adoption situations.

    As for some of the commenters here--I am appalled at the tone and language employed toward you personally. Obviously, you are well respected by the thoughtful commenters here--I simply cannot believe the sheer nastiness some have resorted to. I often think what it will be like for Veronica someday--will she read all that has been written about her? The custody situation aside--I wonder what it will be like to know that one has been the subject of so much debate, debate punctuated with nastiness even at times!--and all before the age of 4! I hope Veronica will not only stay with her father, but will also be blessed with an amazing sense of humor! If I were a fairy godmother in this crazy "fairytale," I would bless Veronica with an appreciation for irony and absurdity!

    Best,
    Jennifer :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am confused on something Lori said.She said she was hoping that the supporters of all three sides work together to find a way to ensure a peaceful coexistance for veronica.First I have not seen any supporters of Christys.2nd Shouldnt the families work together instead of the supporters? The majority of the supporters on both sides do not know veronica or anyone involved in this persoanlly so why would our actions ( verbally) make or break a peaceful coexistance for veronica? I think it is fairly obvious that she did in fact write the first msg because if she did not and being an attorny I would have thought she would be taking legal action instead of talking to facebook about it.I do wonder if possibly she has a medical issue or a dependancy issue ( I am only wondering so it is not slander) and I suspect the latter of the two,that causes her to go onto facebook and try to attack supporters that are against her " client" and to try her case on facebook only to later delete the posts or claim it was someone else when its fairly obvious.Most attorneys would not do that and personally I find it highly unethical and unprofessional of her to do so.I also find it highly unethical as well as unprofessional on the majority of the tactics that were used to swiftly get veronica to a state the conveintly would be easy to terminate dustens rights.I am sure that is not a coincidence but is probably claimed to be as its not a coincidence that this is happening with another child as who knows how many.
    Ms McGill as we do know that you monitor this blog as well as the standing our ground for veronica page could you please answer the questions that were asked of you regardless if it was " you or a impersonator" as you claim.How do you jusify that it is ok to take a child from the only home that she knows and the only home she knows in order to put her in a strange house with new parents for no other reason than they want her? Can you please answer the question without using the excuse that Dusten done it first but instead a real justification on why you feel that would be the right thing to do to a 4 year old.Why is that in her best interest? Also please I am asking why its in veronicas best interest so please do not answer why its the best for the capobioncos or the best for christy or the best for any adults but only for veronica and not because the law said so but a real justification on why its in her best interest? I doubt you will answer that or any of the other questions although we know you are reading and monitoring this.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Also another question.Are you always this personal with your clients? Most attorneys I have met with keep things on a professional level and not chatting on facebook or wherever.I am just wondering because I keep my clinets at a professional level.I am not " friends " with them after they leave the office, I dont go on facebook and bash any enemies they may have.I was just wondering if you treat all your clients relationships this personal.

    ReplyDelete