To me it is disappointing to see the majority of the opinions on the ban. I readily admit to having a limited amount of knowledge about International Adoption compared to so many other wonderful voices out there. But I do know the adoption industry and I do know it is, at its very core, a clear and true example of big business.
And I have no doubt the damage it creates in its wake holds so much responsibility for how we as Americans practice adoption and how we are viewed in return by other countries for our ways.
As a nation, we blindly, and without question, support and encourage a multi-billion dollar industry. And we expect other countries to do the same and shake our head in disbelief when they don’t.
We refuse to see, or outright ignore, that so much of adoption in today’s world has nothing to do with finding families for children in need. Instead it is a business, profiting off obtaining children for couples who want them.
There is nothing humanitarian about it. Nothing charitable, kind or good, in so much of past and current adoption practices. It is, plain, cut and dried, simple as can be, nothing more than paying customers – potential adoptive parents – hiring a business to find a baby for them, creating a personal demand they expect to be filled. It is vulnerable, pregnant mothers being marketed for and counseled into giving up their children to create the answering supply for that demand. And it is babies becoming nothing more than the product in between. Priced and paid for just as in every business transaction that occurs.
That is it. That is the majority of what adoption is in our country. It has nothing to do with saving anyone. It isn’t about heroes or saints. Better or worse parents. It’s about money. It’s about the profits that can be gained in an industry that is mostly unregulated, powerful, and sitting comfortably with the knowledge that their unethical practices of acquiring and selling children are not only supported, but hailed as something wonderful by so many.
And the saddest part is, in so many ways, as a nation, we only have ourselves to blame. We are a culture that firmly believes that those who can afford to pay for a baby deserves them far more than a mother in need of help and support. We equate money with parenting ability and prefer those who do not require us to help a mother and her child in any way but instead allow us to walk away without concern.
And the children are the ones caught in the ugly middle. They become the innocent victims in the business of adoption. Taken away from their families, their countries, their culture after the price is paid for them and then viewed as “saved” into a better life. Paying couples wanted them, vulnerable, frightened mothers provided them and the adoption industry profited off of them.
This is what we accept. Encourage. Support.
We embrace the business of adoption and its unethical and immoral practices then work ourselves into a frenzy when others dare to condemn the way we treat children and their mothers during times of need.
Fueled by the Adoption Industry in their quest to profit off of finding children to fulfill the demand of couples wanting a child . . . the needy, the vulnerable, the poor, become targets in our country and others. But, unlike here in the States, other countries are beginning to realize the truth behind the business of adoption and are taking steps to protect their citizens from the damage caused by allowing greed and money to be a deciding factor in the life of an innocent child.
In Australia, where their Adoption practices were similar to what we have today, they finally realized the danger in allowing big business to determine a child’s future and created laws to protect a mother and her child from being separated to fulfill the demand of couples wanting a child. Once money was removed from their adoption practices, their concerns changed to what was truly best for their children and supporting family preservation became a priority rather than a lack.
We can only hope that, maybe, with Russia banning the money driven business of American Adoption in their own country, there will also be a genuine shift in truly caring about what is best for their children.
Though it is missed in all the heart breaking stories of couples who have had their hopes of adopting from Russia erased, Putin promised to sign a Presidential decree that would help the children in his country. He has given hope that their focus will now turn in to what is best for children in need instead of what will profit those in the business of adoption.
I hope, more than anything, he follows through with his promises. I hope Russian children will finally be given the care and support they truly need and that their lives will now be about what is best for them and not about what strangers desire to gain from them.
And I also hope that, someday, we here in the States will recognize and admit to the damage we cause by allowing Adoption to be a business based on profits, supply and demand. That at some point we realize how terribly wrong it is to allow families to be torn apart because we use the illusion of money as a determination on who does or does not deserve a child.
Perhaps, someday, one of our own Government Officials will have the same courage to stand up and speak out against the business of paying customers, coercive counseling and unnecessary separation of a child from his or her family. Someday maybe we will see a true concern for what is best for our children and a commitment to doing more to help families stay together rather than be pulled apart.
And maybe, just maybe, if we keep fighting for, and hoping for, change, we might see a time when society finally realizes how wrong it is to have a business that is centered around fulfilling the desires of adults at the expense of our children. That demands an end to all profits made from taking a child from his or her family to satisfy the wants of strangers.
A time when we cry out with the same disgust, as so many have for the Russian Ban, against those who use the most innocent members of our society for their own gain. Who market for and place price-tags on the heads of our children, making them nothing more than just another business transaction . . .
Another product to be sold.