Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Adopted or Abducted - Time to Watch

Tonight, Tuesday, May 1stDan Rather Reports will feature an investigation into adoption that is long past overdue . . .


It will air on HDNet at 8 p.m. Eastern time with an encore showing at 11 p.m. Eastern time.  And will be available for download on iTunes  tomorrow morning.

I highly encourage everyone and anyone to watch this show.  To record it.  Download the video.  Whatever it takes.  These brave mothers deserve to have their stories heard by every single one of us.  It’s time for us to face the truth of the crimes that were committed against them and offer them the respect and care they deserved decades ago.  During the time of the Baby Scoop Era/Era of Mass Surrender.  During a very dark part of our history where the crimes committed against them were never acknowledged.

Mothers from the Baby Scoop Era were some of the first to find their voices and demand recognition for what happened to them, fight for change and reform in adoption practices of today.  Their battle to be heard has been long and hard.  They have been knocked down so many times but have refused to quit, to give up.

They are the ones who first carved the path for others, like myself, to find our own courage to speak out.  To stand up strong for what we believe in without allowing others to silence us.  They are the true example for what it means to fight without surrender.

For someone like me, who has only spent four years speaking out about adoption practices, it is their coat tails that I ride on.  Their courage that pushes me to continue on during the times when quitting seems so much easier.

They now have a chance to be heard and I believe we all owe it to them to listen, to hear the horror they went through and to learn from their past and gain an understanding to the darker truth of adoption, both past AND present.

Because as Claud so accurately put it . . .

- - “No, it's not my story. It's my preamble. It's the very foundation of MY adoption experience. It’s the foundation of ALL our adoption experiences. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US who has had some sort of adoption journey should know that the start of the road began with CRIMES.” - -

The crimes committed against these mothers are the foundation for what the adoption industry has, and still is, about – fulfilling the demand of the hopeful adoptive couples willing to pay for a baby by separating a child from his or her vulnerable mother to create the supply.

The NCFA (National Council for Adoption), the very backbone of what adoption is today, has never acknowledged the horrors of the Baby Scoop Era.  And in fact, by their own account, was created because of the drastic decrease in infants available for the growing list of couples hoping to adopt.

- - “In the 1980s, as the number of women opting for an adoption plan decreased, there also was a sharp increase in the number of families wishing to adopt children. Adoption agencies began to maintain long waiting lists as the number of potential adoptive families far surpassed the availability of children.” - -

And that is where our current adoption practices have been born – in the past crimes against women and the need to find new ways to get babies after such crimes were no longer acceptable.

Adoption has changed since the stories of the women you will see tonight.  But it hasn’t changed for the better.  It has merely changed in response to women gaining more rights over themselves and their bodies, using well researched coercion and manipulation to convince mothers to give up their children.

I hope many will watch tonight and truly hear the heartache these mothers have suffered.    I hope they will be outraged that such a thing was ever allowed to happen to so many women, that they were expected to remain silent about what happened to them and their children.

And I hope some will finally begin to question the practice of an Industry that holds, from its very beginning, the continuing need to get babies from their vulnerable mothers to continue the profits they have made for over half a century by providing those babies to the large demand of hopeful couples willing to pay for the chance at having a child of their own.

Adoption is, and always has been, a business for profits.  Until we, as a society, demand different, mothers and their children will continue to be victims to their crimes, their coercion, their practice of researching and finding new ways – as the times change – to continue their ways.

Until we all stand up as one and demand change we will continue to leave more and more mothers with the heartbreaking stories of how they lost their child.  More mothers to follow in the path of the heartbreaking stories of the women whose voices we will hear tonight.

***Another great article to read from Dan Rather and his investigation into adoption practices . . . Abducted Generations.***

23 comments:

  1. I will be watching. Interesting point too--how the practices of the industry today are derived from an historical era of adoption crime. Until there is recognition of what happened, it will be difficult to transform the mass public opinion about coercive strategies still in use.
    I went over to the Yahoo news post, and was disappointed to see so many people already reacting against the news report in the comments section. I later read Amanda's post at Declassified Adoptee--and she addressed this phenomenon with a well articulated explanation and how to get people to actually listen with a more open mind.
    I am hoping that more birth mothers will come forward with their stories after this airs. It's one thing for people to try and hush a few voices, but maybe more women will have the courage to speak after tonight.
    Best to everyone--
    Jennifer :)

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  2. Hope it is posted soon on YouTube so those of us not in the USA can see it too :) Looking forward to it.

    xxx

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  3. Just wanted you to know I watched this because you told me about it yesterday.

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  4. I just wanted to come back to tell you the difference your blog has made in my life. I commented a few weeks ago, asking if adoption is ever best. Since then, I have read, and researched, and soul searched. I decided that I do not want to be a part of taking a child from it's mother. I need to be able to look my child in the eye, and say yes, I did what was best for you. And I can't honestly do that, while living with the knowledge that the first mother is in pain. But I still want another child. I have been praying about what to do, when my younger sister, who I haven't seen for several years, called me out of the blue with the news that she has stage IV ovarian cancer, and will I take care of her son? She said she thought of me because she knew I always wanted to adopt. The two of them are living with me now, and she will live out whatever time is left to her here. What an opportunity to reconnect with my sister, and for my nephew to stay with family.
    Bad enough for him to lose his mother, but I'm so glad I am able to provide him with a
    loving home, which I may not have been able to do if I had gone through with my plan
    to adopt. I believe that God works in mysterious ways.

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  5. @Kristina,
    That is a beautiful albeit tragic story. I am very sorry for your sister's illness but am glad that at least her boy will be able to remain with family. That is what family is supposed to be. There for each other when one is in crisis. You sound like a warm and kindhearted person who really wants the best for children.

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  6. I'm trying. My sister and I haven't always seen eye to eye (she has made some poor choices) but now is the time to put judgement aside and do right by my nephew. And doing right by him means honoring his mother and her place in his life. What a lesson for me about love! I admit that in the past I let my judgement of my sister get in the way of my love for her. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to change that.

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  7. does any one know how i can find out if an adoption was infact an abduction, im assisting in a case where a boy has been missing for nearly 3 decades and i am almost certain who and where he is today, all the dots connect, but how can i truely find out...

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    1. Center for missing and exploited children.
      Adpotees who have had their last names removed in a closed adoption might try Internation soundex reunion regrestry through Adoptees Liberty Movement Association. They match by aprox dob and other info state county...when ya can't go in the front door go in the back door, just get in!

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  8. I agree with everything said. I was young, naive and didn't have the knowledge of the resources available to me. I placed my Daughter 13 years ago and regret it to this day. The APs decided to close our semi open adoption. They told me what I wanted to hear to get my baby. These agencies are still using the same brainwashing tactics as before, they are just "sugar coated" today.

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  9. It's long overdue for people to know that moms like me were forced--terrorized, in my case--to surrender our baby. I NEVER wanted others to raise my child! FORCED ADOPTION is the correct terminology...to describe this traumatizing event...finally. Even I'd never thought of this.

    Kathy Caudle
    Natural Mother

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  10. Hi my name is Lisa Arln and I am from Canada for in wed mother's like my self have been targeted by child protection services there is currently a national law suit against them. Mothers are led to believe you can't take care of your self, or we have to take your child until you are assessed, and haven't made adequate provisionswnd women like my self who are on welfare are made to feel ashamed of your self and believe that the have to give up their child for adoption or their child is removed and put into foster homes. The truth is women who are unwed were discriminated against by the government and abused our children and abused us! It happened at the Aboriginal schools but no one accepts it and I really real that for women like my self the public needs to know just how mothers were treated ans still are by child protection services. I feel that the child protection policies violate the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and no women should ever be forced to give up her child I am just so relieved that the house of Commons has made and inquiry and make child protection services accountable and for me that means freedom and for women we can have our security of a person back and if you are a women who is being abused by child protection speak up I have always felt adoption is a women's choice not the governments or anybody else I was forced to give up my child to child protection services no women should be I believe that child protection is just an excuse for the government to cause so many mothers pain and so many child harm! It makes me really angry because I love my children very much and they don't think so or I just gave them up I love you where ever you are! I find it appauling the government did this and just by the way every women is entitled to liberty and freedom and services as long as they are needed and no women should give up their child because you need them! Finally the public knows the truth about adoptions I know what it is like when know one believes you it is really hard to painful for me to say now just greatful I had the opportunity to share!

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  11. I am a survivor and I will keep fighting until I get my children back and I will have justice and finally it is about time the truth about adoption is told and women do get there security of a person back!
    I'm on face book under Lisa Arlin or MCFD injustice on face book
    arlinlisa@yahoo.ca shame on the government is al I have to say!

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  12. As someone who was adopted, I don't get this. I understand that many may have regret- may wish they hadn't given up their children for adoption. That is completely understandable, especially if you gave them up young. What I don't get is your apparent need to blame your decision on others. An "industry" and its "consumers". If an adoption agency is threatening you that is one thing. But my "a"parents are wonderful, loving people and I am glad they are my parents. My parents *encouraged* me to keep contact with my "n"/"b"mother. She didn't want me. I've had her phone number and address, and she's had mine, since the day I was adopted. I was never kept from seeing her or vice versa. I asked her to make sure. I can count on one hand the number of birthday cards I got. I can count on 3 fingers the number of times I was invited to her house. She lived 15 miles away. I still remember vividly when I was 4 and she was packing to leave with one of her many random boyfriends and I had my teddy bear in tow and asked "Where are we going mommy?" Her reply was to shove me into my now-adopted parents home and say "You aren't coming." Neither me nor they heard from her for weeks. WEEKS. It stayed the same all my growing up even after I was adopted. It's still the same now...even at 48 years old partying and fun are more important. The same is true for many moms (mine was 20 and had me when she was married and didn't want me after her divorce. Their OWN future, their OWN time and money to party and date and have fun...all those things are more important. Babies are smelly, dirty, expensive, and a lot of work. As a happy adopted person I think most people didn't want their babies at the time and now that they are adults they regret it. Which is fine and natural, what I take issue with is that instead of owning their mistake they want to blame it on someone else. My *adoptive* parents wanted me. My *adoptive* parents loved me. The only time my "real" mother wanted to claim me was to take credit for how well I was doing. Suddenly I was her "daughter" when she got to tell people she had a girl who was in the Air Force and could speak 4 languages. We do NOT all feel like we don't belong. We do NOT all want to come back to the ones who gave us up. Adoption is not a curse for everyone. For some of us it is a blessing. For some of us, like me, it saves us from being with drug addicts who would stay with abusive men who like to whore out women and girls. For some of us it SAVES OUR LIVES. So don't pretend adoption is all bad. I know my case is not every case, but my adoptive parents ARE my REAL parents. You don't deserve to be called a parent just because you create (guys) or pop out (women) a baby- you have to love it. You have to WANT it. My biological mother tells sob stories to people about how she "wanted" me even though she never was denied to see me, and even now does not ever contact me despite attempts of mine to restart contact occasionally. She wants all the credit and sympathy without any of the work or self-sacrifice that it takes to raise a child. And not all, but many other people are just the same. That's the reality. So don't go demonizing people who can't have kids who want to give them love and care when their "real" parents don't want them. Anyone who wasn't threatened or rode down for being "shameful" until they broke- you gave up your kid because you didn't want it at the time. And if you didn't want it, you didn't deserve it.

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    1. I'm sorry that you have that hurt in your life....nothing worse than dysfunctional alcoholics and druggies raisin kids. My adoptive parents were like your birth mom. The issue really is how it was for single women who were set up to fail, who were cohersed, drugged in order to relinquish. Women whos men left them with large families, and the children were taken, their identies taken to satisfy a two parent need for a family. Perhaps these things did happen to your birth mother...too bed she had other problems too. She should have real help, forgiveness... I am so sorry she is emotionally unavailable... Everyone needs an oppertunity to self actulize their pain, without judgement. But I do understand....

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  13. Jenny Brown:
    WOW, Good bless you!!
    Well said. I am so proud of you.
    Veronica Campbell

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    1. Jenny, you are very lucky to have great parents that love and support you and I am sorry your birth-mother did not really want to be a "mother". That is your story and not all are the same! I was told nothing,,,,I didn't know anything. I was alone and scared and my mother was too afraid of what the neighbors would think! So, her and our family dr got catholic services involved and the day she was born " away she went ". It was the 70's and I didn't know about welfare or foodstamps or housing. They were not going to tell me how I could keep her because "my parents" didn't want to be imbarassed! I saw a movie a few years later and the adopted parents died in a car crash and since the child was not a blood relative ,,,,nobody wanted it and it went to foster care! I thought OMG what if that would happen to my baby? By this time I had a job and out of my parents home. I went to Catholic services and asked them to tell me something,,ANYTHING!!!! AND THEY SAID IT WAS A CLOSED ADOPTION AND IT WAS NOT ANY OF MY BUSINESS TO KNOW ANYTHING!!!! I made a stupid mistake and i will suffer for it until the day I die!!!!

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  14. Jenny, when you give birth to your first child remind yourself that "popping out" that baby doesn't make you a mother. I'm sure you won't hold that opinion any longer.

    In your particular case adoption may have been the best available option but that's akin to saying that cancer is better than AIDS. Um, okay. The BEST outcome would've been being born to healthy people. It's sad you weren't, and it's great that someone wanted to raise you, but you can't extrapolate those particulars to the entirety of domestic infant adoption. Odds are your particular circumstances are relatively rare among DIA.

    But enjoy the idea that conception and labor and birth do not make one a mother. I'm sure that's a comfort.

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  15. I don't think there is one woman that gave birth and used adoption has the exact same circumstance. You cannot sit in judgement just because you were adopted! There are probably little ones as we speak sitting in some filthy corner of life watching their mother shoot crack and is going to have to raise themselves because nobody cares. Instead of sitting here trying to make a point ,,,maybe you should try to reach out to these children and help them hook up with treasured parents like the ones you were lucky to have! The world is not a perfect place with perfect people. I myself gave a baby up for adoption and there isn't a day that goes by that I haven't lived with the regret! My whole life was affected by the " choice " I made. I was 19 and it was the early 70's and just like girls now I had sex when I should't have and became pregnant. When I finally in the ninth month went to the hospital when my parents found out was the first time I had my clothes off in the light in front of anybody! Because I was pregnant at that point in history, I was assumed a whore (instead of some stupid, shy, scared person that had sex and should not have) When I started to show, I would take a walk everyday for miles sit in a park ( alone ) and go back home when it got dark. All my friends shunned me like I had some disease they could catch. As soon as my parents found out they decided for me what was going to happen. They called our family doctor and between them the deal was done. Did I even know that I could have kept her? NO,,,that choice was not on the table. My parents did not want the neighbors to know! I brought shame to the whole family! I was supposed to go to college like my brother and sister and instead I had a baby and not long after that was put out on the streets to take care of myself. I met an abuser of a husband and had 2 sons. My sons had a mother that thought being abused was okay and I lived in depression because part of me was missing. Catholic Social services never gave me a choice,,,they took my baby and I have had to live with that everyday and every minute of my life! Everybody except me knew that they were stealing my baby and my life!!!!

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  16. I am adopted and I have always been looking for my birth parents for years. All avenues have led to nothing. I had a private investigator look into it and came up with nothing. This is a very serious issue that we face and it needs to stop

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    1. Did you try reunion registry on the Web or privacy commissioner the office in Victoria and request your adoption records under the privacy act and records from child protection you can also request to removedead whats blacked out
      Hope this works for you if in usa try vital statistics. I'm not sure what office to get adoption records files from God bless

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  17. My baby was ripped out of my arms years ago,,,which put me into a major depression that I did't even realize I was going through! I went through life making the motions never having the feelings and the children I did keep suffered because of my depression. I am white and have a high IQ----so my mom and dr. sold those few points to catholic services and the secret webs went on!

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  18. I have posted previously on here and I wanted to.add to my statement.
    An open letter to my boys;
    First and foremost of my boys ever this I have been searching for you everywhere not just on the Internet. I never wanted to give you up people had miss conseptions about me and my ability to be a mom they were really nasty about it. I would want you to know I proved them wrong it was just wrong in the laws eyes to be a single mother on welfare. I was fleeing from abuse and did not want to give you up but this is what child protection services dose remove children some times the government removes children because they are in a wheel chair social workers can just be very mean like that and I am still fighting for you. I was denied access cut out of your life Joshua Johnathan and Brandon I never gave you Up I was forced to. Some parents don't have the ability some are recovering addicts and I think they are able to parent just that is the way child protection services and society judges you. I pray every day that you are warm safe and loved and that all of your needs are meet. Your grandfather tells me I can't force you to come back into my life I respect that I do but I am still looking for you all these years I don't know if my youngest even knows he I adopted and now you are all adults now and I would like to benincluded in my grandkids life I am trying everything and everyway to find you everyday and this is what happens child protection removes kids they never give you support maybe that has changed but I have been put out on the streets left on my own to heal from being forced to give you up no support to find you and none from your family either the government may but without of you in the United states who knows where to start or where you are. I am never giving up because I love you and I hope the government learns something from this tragedy and maybe this crazy world would be more empathetic but that'll never happen I am sure people will say I deserveemail it and I have come along ways in business at college now but my life will never be comeplete I especially think of you at Christmas time this is my open letter to my boys I pray it gets through I believe that when a mother is fored to adopt the agency needs to be more supportive and there should he a guarantee in the order that she is reunited with her kids and since the Ministry for children and family development lack any accuntabilty and just abuse their power this is what happens for a women like me you go through years of court hell when trenching protection concerns about you are false and there is nothing you can do accept appeal I have all levels of court all levels of government. I still have no contact and this it what happens when a mother like me is denied affair hearing and the system is against you I keep fighting because my boys I want you to know I never gave you Up and I am not a bad mother! I hope this open letter to my boys reaches someone in the government who will respond or media because it has happened to me I know I am not the only one! I believe no women should be foced to adopt her child please learn something from what happened to me and end forced adoptions! I am from Surrey Bc
    Lisa arlin
    A

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