Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Change Is Good . . . I Hope

I am SO not internet savvy.

I used to think I was, way back when (over a decade ago) when I created my first web page for my professional writing. But I quickly learned that I was only fooling myself and the knowledge I had was greatly lacking.

I solved that problem by getting someone else much wiser than me to handle the site.

But for this blog . . . I’ve always just kind of fumbled through. I try not to play with the design and/or layout too much because every time I have done so, I end up making a terrible mess that I then have to find my way out of.

Which I am SO not good at doing.

And I should have remembered that important lesson this time around as I went about changing things and creating yet another mess that I have had to try and clean up with my very limited knowledge.

But there were things I wanted to change so I stormed in without thought to the consequences.

Like the comments left on my blog . . . I know the letter verification is for protection but I absolutely hated it and I wanted it gone. And while I was in there changing that, I learned I could get rid of the pop-up window and actually be able to reply directly under the comments I was referring to.

It was easy, a couple clicks here . . . a couple clicks there . . . and it was done.

Which was probably why I was feeling over confident and decided to go for more. Why not! I could handle it. No big disasters to deal with so why not keep going.

And my blog roll DID need attention. It’s been getting so long and I don’t want to delete anyone but I keep adding and adding . . . and adding . . . and adding. And my sidebar keeps getting longer and longer . . . and longer . . . and longer.

So why not clean it up?

It was time consuming, yes. But that had nothing to do with being, or not being, internet savvy. It had to do with the fact I had put off the task for way too long. That I needed to go through the blogs, decide which group they belonged under and create new blog lists for each one.

By the time I was done, it felt good. I was patting myself on the back for a job well done. No glitches. No disasters. Just a better and cleaner blog roll. Exactly like I hoped for.

Comments . . . done. Blog roll . . .done.

I was on a blogger high. I was the glorious queen of my blog – able to tackle problems without screwing things up. I was “it.” I was cool. I was ready to take on the world . . . or at least another change that I had been wanting to do.

So I took the final plunge and decided to create my own domain (www.adoption-truth.com) for my blog.

With the success I had already had, I could do it. There was no question about it. Especially since blogger made it sound so easy and was willing to hold my hand through the process. No way I could ever screw it up.

Yeah! I should have known better. I should have quit while I was ahead.

Cause blogger had completely different ideas, which I quickly learned when I transferred over to my own domain and lost EVERY SINGLE LINK TO EVERY BLOG I HAD LISTED ON MY SIDEBAR.

Yep! All that organizing and re-linking I had done was, in a blink of an eye, gone. Poof. Never to be seen again.

Well . . . actually . . . that last part was an exaggeration. I was able to see it again. All I had to do was take my blog back to blogger instead of my own domain.

And there it was, like a miracle. The new and improved blog roll I had worked so hard on.

But it’s not like I could just give up on having my own domain now. I made the first step and I was going to go all the way, no matter what.

Plus, it just wouldn’t feel right, with all the success I had, to not have some kind of mess to take care of.

So after spending the morning with a wonderful friend trying to help me troubleshoot first, I finally came to the realization if I wanted my own domain then I was going to have to work for it. Which meant, going through and copying every link I had acquired on my blog since I started it and then copying it back to show on www.adoption-truth.com.

And that is why, after the overly long explanation, I have written this completely off-topic blog – because I know, in all the redoing of the links, I had to have made some mistakes. Missed some blogs. Put others under groups they didn’t belong.

So, if you find I have your blog where it doesn’t belong, please tell me.

If your blog was linked from mine and it’s no longer there, please tell me.

And if you have a blog, or know of a blog, you think I should add to my blog roll, please tell me.

Just remember – for new blogs that haven’t been linked before – I’m not one to add it to my blog roll just because I’m asked.

And yeah, I am very much aware how bad that makes me sound. And I know there isn’t anything special that makes a difference anyhow if someone is on my blog roll or not. But I still, even being at the bottom of the totem pole, have certain beliefs that I won’t compromise on when it comes to the blogs I link to.

They don’t have to all be from the exact same viewpoint as mine. I don’t have to completely agree with everything they say. If you travel through the links I have now, I think you will find there are differences of opinions in some areas of adoption and blogs that do have messages that can contradict my own.

But, I don’t have and I will not have any blog that I believe plays a part in the coercion and manipulation of a pregnant mother.

I will not link to a blog that suggests, in any way, that God wants a mother to give up her child. That He believes in some kind of “Eternal Family” and is willing to sacrifice children, by forcing them to face the loss and grief that comes with adoption, to make sure mothers give their children away to such an idea because that is somehow more important than the damage caused by taking a child away from his or her mother.

I will not have any blog that encourages women to look down on themselves, to believe themselves unworthy of their own child because there is some other couple out there that is “better” than them and deserving of the “gift” of another woman’s baby.

And I absolutely refuse to link to any blog that discredits or lessens the importance of adoptee rights. Even the suggestion that there might by ANY reason or excuse to deny an adoptee their equal rights will not be accepted.

So, with all that . . . which I hope doesn’t make me sound like too much of a b*#ch . . .if you do have a blog that I haven’t linked to yet, please do let me know so I can read it and hopefully add it to my blog roll.

And please forgive me as I work my way through the newest changes I have brought. I hope I have hit my only snag. But I know better than to count on that. So if the next month, or so, is a struggle, just know it’s normal for me and my lack of internet savvy.

It took me four years to move to my own domain. It could very well take me another four years to actually figure out how to work that domain. Until then, I hope you’ll just bear with me and enjoy the ride.


  1. Funny you posted this. Just yesterday I was thinking that I should 'clean up' (as you said) my own blog roll... some blogs I link to have not had a new post since 2009.

    BUT the last time they changed blogspot and I clicked a button,
    I lost the formatting for evry single thread I've ever posted - EVERY ONE! and now all my old threads are just one big huge on gigantic wad of spagetti on a page. I try every now and then to go back and clean them up. But, yeah, I'm a bit gun shy (and short on time) to bring on any more headaches.

    I'm proud of you in your stand of what you refuse to post links to. Maybe someday someone will be kind enough to help Cheerio get a blog roll on her page - haha haha hahahahahaha


    1. Poor Cheerio! This blog stuff can really be a headache! Good luck on the blog roll. Obviously I'm not the one to help you out on that one cause I perform magic tricks and make them disappear completely. ;)

  2. I made it to your blog roll and I am honored!
    Yup, it's a world wide web of confusion for me too - but you keep doing what you are doing - you inspire me!

    1. Thanks Trace. Your writing and what you fight for inspires me as well!

  3. While I'm sure that we might have a difference of opinion on some things, I really appreciate this post because of the honesty in it. I appreciate how up front you are with your beliefs and exactly what you will or won't accept. Many people have a hard time knowing that or even knowing how to vocalize it. I admire it.

  4. Hi Cassi,

    Happy to bear with you :) Great to see some new links on your blog roll I haven't read before. I value the work peole put into their blog rolls as it enables other readers to check them out and see other view points and experiences.

    Also think its great you have a policy regarding who you will add. Otherwise things can become confused!

    Looking forward to seeing more fabulous posts on your blog :)

    1. Thanks Myst!

      And I agree, it takes a lot of work to not only maintain a blog but to also have the energy to continue to speak out, even when others try to silence you!

  5. I just came to look at your latest post and see you have added me to your blog list! I am honored, thanks :) I love your blog and have traveled to many sites bc of your sidebar.
    I'm pretty new to the blogosphere--I would like to start a list on my page too. I guess it's a gadget I can add?

    1. Thanks Jennifer.

      It is a gadget you can add. If you hit your design button on top of your blog, it should take you directly to that page. And then you just click on add a gadget and choose blog list from the options.

  6. Cassi- Absolutely a true honor to be included in your blog roll. Recently I have shredded my blog apart to protect the privacy of my girls with the upcoming release of my novel. But, I hold the memories of how much insight you have offered myself and my children. Hopefully I will build my blog back to a meaningful place to visit. Thank you for your continual support.

    1. I would love to see your blog built back up. I have always believed it was an important one to be read.