Thursday, July 28, 2011

Repeating His Words

The disgusting “price lists” for babies are making their rounds again.

Every time I see them, I not only get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I also think of my oldest son, an adoptee, and his reaction when he first discovered such a disgusting practice existed.

It’s been two and a half years since he was traveling around the internet and came across this site . . . Adoption: A Path of the Heart. At that time, the blog owner allowed comments and my son took full advantage of it.

But I knew, from experience, the chances of his comment remaining on her site were slim to none, so back in January 2009, I made sure his words would not be lost forever by publishing them on my blog . . . In My Son’s Words.

And I am thankful I did. It took less than twenty-four hours for the blog owner to remove his reply and close down comments on her blog (my son’s words were just the first of many who shared their horror that such lists existed for “purchasing” human lives.)

So, as this disgusting site, and others like it, are being discovered again, I thought I would share, once more, my son’s response, his first reaction, when he learned such disgusting lists existed . . .

jctippinward said...

First, let me start off with saying this is one of the most disgusting things I have ever laid my eyes upon, and I’ve seen a lot in my 21 years of living, but this, putting a price on a child and listing him/her on a blog as if you were selling a car is just wrong. A white Caucasian male will run you about 35k while an African-American male child will run you about 23k. What is this, cars made by a certain company therefore will be better? Are you serious?

These are children people. The most innocent thing in the world has now become a Market for investments and profit. Look at the way you list them here as if they were a product, like they came out of a plastic box. Do you not have children of your own? Let me ask you this, would put a price tag on them and sell them on the open market? No? Then why do you find it to be right to sell another person(s) child over blogspot?

I’m sure, by now, some have stopped reading and wrote me off as an uneducated buffoon who has no idea what I’m talking about and to those of you closed minded, ignorant pricks, all I can say to you is piss off.

I am a product of the whole open adoption craze. It was like a new fashion craze amongst you. Everyone is doing it so it must be right. Well it’s not right and I will tell you why. When my Amom stopped sending my Mother(Cassi) news and pictures on how I was doing, my Mother went to the adoption agency and complained. They told her there is nothing she can do about it, that I was now under the control of my Amom(Terri). My adoption was an open one and just like that it became closed. I will only say this, the amount of pain that caused my mother still ripples through time today. What it did to me has changed who I am forever. I spent most of my youth jumping around from step dad to step dad, watching the first one physically and mentally abuse Terri and I. The second one never loved me. He told me that himself. There was no father figure besides Terri's Father. He passed away when I was 15, the only sort of guidance for me had passed on to a better place. I was lost. I didn't know who I was I knew that I wasn't blood with the people I lived with and deep down inside I knew I didn't belong where I was.

As a teen I was far from an angel. I did a lot of things I look back on now and hold in deep regret of my actions. When I was 16, Terri left me with her Mother who at the time was unable to walk. I had complete freedom and I took full advantage of it. I found myself stealing her car, credit cards, and cash and partying every night. By the time I was 17, I was kicked out of Terri's mother's house and left to move back in with Terri. This was the hardest time of my life.Terri was a drunk and a mean one at that. It caused many fights and many problems for us. I don’t want to cover much on this time.

I was doing nothing but living to die. I knew deep down I hated everything and everyone and the only thing that made that go away was an abusive drug habit that still scars my heart today. Both of my shoulders are destroyed from self inflected wounds. They will never look the same. These are the things that haunt me. Now I tell you that story to tell you this one.

The adoption agency told my mom she would not be able to be a good mother for me. Those lying bastards. I have 2 little brothers and one little sister. Both of my Parents are still together and married doing what they can to make sure we, their children, have everything we need to succeed in life. They told her this would not happen.

Now I’ve read all over books about feeling angry towards (and I hate using this term) the Natural parents and if you’re one of those right now reading this, I want to say this from me to you. Forgive and open your heart. Remember when you were young and scared about the world? Well they were too and they were tricked by a money thirsty industry. If they would have known the true cost it would never have happened and it would have been done there. So again forgive. Your heart will feel better as will theirs.

So don't sit there and tell me someone can’t raise a child because they've smoked a little pot. Or because they are young and still young adults themselves. 99% of parents out there love their children with all their heart to an extent that words cannot describe. I say 99% because there is that 1% who kill their children because they are legitimately insane and God told them to do it.

Love is a powerful thing and it will make you do crazy things, such as forget your old lifestyle and begin raising a child.

And so now here you sit reading over ads on the Internet for children. All of them have different packages and mileage on them and you feel good about yourself? It should not matter the race or gender or age of the child. Why? Because they are children, all the same innocence wrapped up in a bundle of joy.

So I hope this made some of you think a little bit about the truth behind this industry. It’s not always everything they tell you it will be.

And like before, I will leave my son’s words as the final thoughts of this post.

9 comments:

  1. Nothing more needs to be said, he covered it all!

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  3. What a beautiful wise soul your son is...so happy I read this...he is right...will share a link on my blog...

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  4. Cassi,

    You must be one prud mother! I am sorry yor son had to live the way he did in open adoption which was closed proves it doesn't work!

    My so from closed adoption era. He has been on marches with me in DC. I am proud of him too for going with me
    and marching!

    Gale

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  5. You don't need to add anything ~ your son said it very well and then some!

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  6. Beautiful - I hope you don't mind if I link.

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  7. Wonderful post. Every mother entering into an open adoption with dreams of a relationship with her child ought to read this.

    You've got a smart son, there!

    Lorraine

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  8. Cassi,

    Thank you for keeping this and sharing it with us...and give your son a big hug for me!

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  9. Hi, I am an adoptee, thank you for sharing this :) I actually clicked on that person's blog and read the post about the price list on babies and was truly disgusted. If you want, find out what city or state she lives in and e-mail her blog link to the local district attorney's office for investigation because it's illegal to sell or advertise children (child trafficking).

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