I’ve had good – actually great, amazing – news that I have been sitting on for awhile.
I wanted to wait a bit. Savor and enjoy it before putting it out into cyber world where anything goes and the risks exist for others to use their words to try and take away the miracle my family and I experienced.
But now the realization has hit that nobody in any way can ever take away the happiness I have now that I am both biologically and LEGALLY the mother to ALL of my children. My husband and I adopted back our oldest son who we lost to adoption all those years ago. And for the first time in our lives, our family is one-hundred percent complete.
What adoption stole from my family two decades ago is now back to how it always should have been and nobody will ever separate my family again. Those monsters at the agency who lied and manipulated their way between my son and I taught me one thing – you have to be a bitch when it comes to anyone who might try to take away the most valuable thing in life – your children.
I know life won’t go on perfect from this point on. We will still face the challenges and struggles adoption brought into our life and I still understand that adopting my son back does not erase the many years of his life before this moment.
A paper signed from the courts legally recognizing me once again as my son’s mother doesn’t give me the right, or anyone else, to not acknowledge or accept my son’s adoptive family. Good or bad, they were and still are a part of him and his history and trying to erase or ignore that fact would only cause my son even more pain than he has already gone through.
His adoptive mom will always be there. Though right now, with her addiction and her anger, I’m thankful we haven’t heard from her since my last post back in February, but she still exists. She is still a mother in my son’s life as well, though I’m sticking strong to my decision to no longer remain silent or encourage my son to remain silent when and if her ugly tirades reach out for us again.
But I have faith in my family, in my husband and my children, and I know we’ll make it through whatever life from this point on throws our way. We know life isn’t perfection and that hard times can and will come our way. But we also know we have already stood together through so much in just this short time since reuniting with my son and will continue to do so in the years still to come.
And most important of all, we will never again let anyone separate us for any reason. We are a family and won’t ever let somebody take that away from us.
In Other Words: Susan Harness and Sandy White Hawk
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