Something struck me today as I was reading through some posts on one of those giant "get-together" websites. Many times the question is asked . . .
"What do you think about adoption?"
They basically want to know if it's a good or bad thing. Do you agree with it or not. Now granted, for the most part, those that answer don't have personal ties to the adoption industry. What they have is a media and society fed view of adoption being the loving option.
Still it strikes me how often women will jump into these questioning posts and hail how great they think adoption is. They would of course adopt. Think it is a wonderful thing. They are one hundred percent behind it and everything it's created for.
NEVER, not once, have I ever heard any one of these women stand up and announce they are in such support of adoption they would step up and surrender their own child to this "fine" institution.
I dare anyone to find me a response where a women has stated that adoption is such a great solution that she would willingly lose her own child. Nope. Such a response doesn't exist.
What does exist are statements like, "I completely agree with adoption. I could never give up my own child but I agree with it."
Excuse me!? You recognize the pain and suffering it would take for any mother to be separated from her child and yet you agree with adoption? How is this possible? Under what branch of logical thinking does this fall?
It's okay, a great thing, as long as it doesn't happen to me.
Doesn't that seem to be the underlying theme here? As long as some other women is forced to suffer the trauma of losing her child, it's okay in your world? I grasp desperately for any kind of sound reasoning behind that.
It can no longer be said that adoption in this country is about children needing a home. If that were true, we wouldn't have TRULY orphaned children still waiting for homes. With the demand that exists, ALL children would have a home if adoption applied to that brand of thinking.
Except it doesn't, does it? We all know the truth, even if we choose not to believe it or feel it when it slaps us hard in the face.
Adoption is about providing couples with a child they can call their own. It's about filling that deep need to have a baby of your own. To feel "complete" by sharing in the joys of diapering and late nights and story-telling. That is the truth!! The very fact that there is an ABUNDANCE of couples waiting for every ONE baby born proves it without doubt.
So if you full-heartedly support adoption, are you not supporting these very truths. And if these are the truths you support and you believe in providing babies for couples desperately wanting them then why not stand up and say, "Sure, I'd sacrifice my own child . . . my own flesh and blood . . . my very soul . . . for these poor, needy couples."
Hmm . . . nobody likes that idea, do they? But by supporting the very act of a young, frightened woman surrendering her baby to strangers is supporting this very thing . . . no matter how much sugar-coating you try to lace it with.
So next time you feel the need to jump up and support adoption, you might want to think twice about what it is you are supporting. If it's something you yourself couldn't imagine suffering, how can you possibly support some other women going through it?
In Other Words: Susan Harness and Sandy White Hawk
21 minutes ago